One More Time

Part 13

Not a word was spoken since the moment Stevie and Lindsey left the hospital. They walked outside and made their way to the car, Stevie got into the passenger's seat and Lindsey walked around the front, taking a deep breath before he opened the door on the driver's side and climbed in as well. He pulled out of the parking lot and throughout the whole drive home, he kept glancing at her, but Stevie just stared straight ahead, completely ignoring him. 

"Can I... do you want me to..." Lindsey swallowed uneasily, hanging his head low. What was there to say? 

Shaking her head slightly, Stevie answered, whatever his question was going to be. "No." Not waiting for him to speak up again, she went to her so called music room and sat down at her grand piano. When tragedy struck, music had always been the only thing able to help her through it.

Lindsey, on the other hand, didn't know what to do. He remained standing by the front door, until his shoulders began shaking and he covered his face with his hands. 

When Stevie noticed something was wrong, she immediately called Lindsey. He returned home in no time, speeding over the limit. Telling himself to stay calm since Stevie was already panicking, Lindsey helped her get dressed and they went straight to the hospital. Hearing the doctor say, I'm sorry, shattered both of their hearts into pieces. A miscarriage. Another miscarriage Stevie had suffered. They thought of the baby as their little miracle and it turned out to be just a beautiful dream. 

After a moment to himself, Lindsey inhaled deeply and wiped away his tears. He had to be strong for them both. The story Stevie told him about her stillborn girl now echoed in his mind. He couldn't let it happen again. He knew she was going to try and push him away, but he wasn't going to let her. Yes, it hurt, more than anything he had ever experienced, but Lindsey wasn't about to lose Stevie as well.

Biting into his lower lip, Lindsey entered Stevie's room, his hands in his pockets. He found her at the piano, but she wasn't singing, her fingers moving slowly across the keys as she played a melody he had never heard before. It was strange, she hadn't cried since hearing the horrible news. Lindsey guessed she was in shock and the tears would come later, but he also feared what bottling up her emotions might result into. 

Somewhat carefully Lindsey approached Stevie, placing his hands on her shoulders and she stilled. A short moment later, she resumed playing and Lindsey sighed. He genuinely did not know what to say. Bending over a little, he kissed the top of her head, his hands stroking her upper arms up and down. 

"I know what you're trying to do, Lindsey, but  I need you to leave me alone." Stevie's voice scared him; low, calm and even. This wasn't her, this wasn't how Stevie normally acted. He understood she was sad, though sad was an understatement, but she didn't resemble a human being anymore and he was worried. Extremely worried.

"I just-"

"I know." Stevie repeated herself, shrugging his hands off her shoulders. "Please, I'm begging you."

Against his better judgment, Lindsey lingered a minute longer behind her, before leaving the room like she asked. 

Stevie closed her eyes, hearing Lindsey shut the door on his way out. She sat hunched over, her lip trembled and tears started rolling down the tip of her nose, splashing a little once they hit the keys of the piano. The only question on her mind was, why? Why did it have to happen again? Everything was going so well; she was back with Lindsey again, in love with him more than ever before, they were at last blessed with a child and... She couldn't think about it, the pain in her heart, actual pain she felt, was becoming too much and she had a hard time breathing. 

Leaving the room, Lindsey hadn't wandered too far from it. He sat on the floor by the door as if waiting for her to break down. He knew it was going to happen and when he heard her cries, Lindsey suddenly wasn't so sure whether he should go in or let her be for some time, try and deal with it on her own, let her try and somehow comprehend what happened. 

Knowing the woman he loved so deeply was hurting didn't allow Lindsey to just stay back. He got back up on his feet and reentered the room, closing the distance that separated them only in a few big strides. Without any words, he wrapped her in his arms, her face buried in his chest, his chin on top of her head as he rubbed her back, his own silent tears escaping his eyes once again.