One More Time

Part 14

It took a moment for Lindsey to realize what was happening. In his sleepy state he decided to ignore the annoying sound, coming from somewhere in the house. He pulled the covers over his head and shut his eyes tighter. 

"Lindsey..." Stevie's weak voice reached his ears after a few tries and he finally woke up, realizing the phone was ringing. 

Groaning, Lindsey got out of bed to answer it. By the time he returned to the bedroom, a lot more alert, he pulled down his pajama pants and blindly searched for his jeans.

"It's time." 

At first Stevie didn't get it, but his frantic movements and curses, when he stubbed his toe, helped her understand what it was time for. It had to be Sharon on the phone. The baby was soon to be born. 

"Are you going?" Lindsey asked, stopping for just a minute. "Steph?"

Swallowing the lump of tears that had formed in her throat, Stevie nodded, even though Lindsey couldn't see. "I am." She replied. 

Turning the bedside lamp on, Stevie kicked the sheets off and her feet landed on the floor. She went to her closet for clothes, wiping away a tear on her way, knowing Lindsey couldn't see. Once she was dressed, Lindsey had already left, he was waiting for her in the car, the engine running. 

Since it was the middle of the night, there was no traffic and they got to the hospital relatively quickly. After the car was parked, Lindsey swung the door open and practically jumped out only to see Stevie remaining in the passenger's seat. 

"Steph? Come on, sweetheart. We've got to go." 

It was dark and he couldn't completely see her face, but he heard her sniffle and he knew she was wiping her cheeks. "I'm not going in there, Lindsey. I'm sorry, but I can't."

His heart broke for her. He hadn't gotten over their loss yet, of course not, barely two weeks had passed since the miscarriage, but Lindsey couldn't deny he was excited to meet his son. Their son. Walking around, Lindsey opened the door of the passenger's side and pulled Stevie into his arms. She buried her face in the crook of his neck and cried. She couldn't stop. The wound was still fresh, still raw. 

"Well, what do you want me to do? Because I have been waiting to meet my boy far longer than just the past nine months. I want to go inside and I want to stay there as long as it takes, until he's finally here. I want you by my side." Holding her tight, he spoke softly into her hair. "It's our child, Stevie."

Her lip quivered and she shut her eyes tightly. She clutched her chest, it hurt too much. He's not mine, the words were on the tip of her tongue. Their child, a child that was part her and part Lindsey, was gone. Forever. 

A few silent moments went by and Stevie shook her head. "I'm sorry." She repeated and Lindsey sighed, hanging his head.

Disappointed, Lindsey straightened up, facing away from Stevie. He kicked the tire with his foot, cursing as he then got back into the car and pushed the key into the ignition. Not a word was spoken, while Lindsey sped back to their place and as soon as Stevie got out of the car, he turned the car around and was on the road to the hospital once more.

Stevie tried, she truly did. She wanted to be happy about the arrival of the baby and she was for that short period of time, thinking she and Lindsey were going to become parents to two children. But after she lost the baby, Stevie didn't want to think about it. Every time Lindsey went into the nursery to make sure they had everything and every single thing was in its place, her heart got shattered. She guessed that putting all of his energy into thinking about the baby Sharon was carrying and preparing for his arrival was the way Lindsey chose to grieve. She couldn't blame him, but she also found it hard to be excited and happy along with him.  

Not bothering with the lights, Stevie found her way to the telephone and dialed the number she knew by heart. She didn't consider the current time as she waited to hear a voice on the other end. 

"Mom, it's me." 

"What happened, Teedee?" 

The use of her childhood nickname, coming from her mother, brought fresh tears to Stevie's eyes. "Mom, the baby is coming." Stevie's parents knew about the surrogacy and they also knew about the recent miscarriage.

"Oh, sweetheart..." Barbara didn't need any further explanation. 

The mother and daughter stayed on the phone for at least an hour. It was mostly Stevie who spoke and her mom listened. She hadn't opened up about her feelings to anyone, not even Lindsey and she felt just a tiny bit better after confiding to her mother. 

"You know how things went the previous time, honey. Don't let it happen again. You love Lindsey and he loves you. He's wanted that baby for a long time and if you push the innocent child away, you're going to push Lindsey away. Don't lose him again, Stephanie. Try."

"I don't know how, Mom. I... It hurts. Oh God, it hurts so bad..." Stevie sobbed and her mother did her best to comfort her from a distance. 

Once Stevie calmed down even if just slightly, she said goodbye to her mother and hung up. 

She absolutely dreaded the moment Lindsey would tell her that 'they' had a perfectly healthy baby boy.