SEVEN
Waking up to Sean’s miserable face the next two days running was…well the wake up call I needed. I wouldn’t say that spending the majority of the last four weeks on my own had turned me into some kind of anti social loner, but living in such a confined space with another human being was turning out to be a bit of a nightmare. For one thing we had to keep sneaking him in and out of the house. Obviously I was allowed guests over, but another person actually living here rent free was kind of taking the piss a bit. That Saturday night we had gone to the pub opposite for a few bevies to drown our collective sorrows, and when we quietly let ourselves in and crept up the stairs Sean found himself face to face with another tenant. I don’t know for sure why he acted like he did, but he froze completely still like a statue a mere two feet away from them (So much for the fight or flight theory, what about option c, freeze?). When they spoke he didn’t respond; when the poked him he didn’t react, it was like he was trying to avoid being detected by a Tyrannosaurus Rex. I carried on walking to my room, not quite knowing what to say if they asked me, and eventually probably out of a mix of exasperation and confusion they turned away and went back to their room and Sean hurriedly did the same.
Unsurprisingly early the next morning we had a visit from my landlady asking what we thought we were doing. Sean told her about being kicked out (neglecting to mention the whole cheating incident. I think that might be another Pullen character trait, only telling the part of the story that makes people pity us, and avoiding to mention the bit that puts us in the wrong) and begging me to let him stay, and she said she was sorry but he couldn’t stay as it would set a precedent for other people to do the same blah blah blah. So that Sunday morning, slightly hung over and embarrassed the two of us set about trying to find a way to get Tanya to forgive him, or at the very least let him come home. I suggested trying to appear on Jeremy Kyle, but Sean instantly dismissed that idea as asinine and we were back to the drawing board. After hours of brainstorming (Cook her a romantic meal. Where? In this tiny box room using only a kettle and toaster, yeah right! What about sneaking in while she’s at work and covering the bed in rose petals? I’m at work! And I’m fed up of sneaking around, you do it. No.) we decided the only real option was for Sean to just man up, buy her some of her favourite flowers or chocolates or something and go over there and talk to her,
“What should I say?”
“How about ‘sorry’?”
“Would that have worked with you? Would you have forgiven Marie if she had just apologised?”
“That was completely different.”
“How?”
“Well for one thing Marie isn’t sorry. She made her bed and she’s happy to lay Roy in it. Marie did it for seven months, it was you know pre-determined, yours was… well not accidental, but a mistake. Hers was like mass genocide compared to your unintentional G.B.H.
“I don’t know if Tanya would quite see it like that.
“Well maybe you can convince her? I don’t know; it just seems a shame for three years of marriage to end like that. For one mistake to tear you apart when it could still be saved, its just tragic.”
“You know I didn’t think you really liked Tanya, at the beginning you always seemed…off with her.”
“I think maybe I resented her, for coming between the two of us.”
“But you had already been with Marie for 2 years.”
“I know but I always knew you’d be around too. And I thought it would change things, we wouldn’t be so close, and I was right.”
“That’s just life Dave, it happens to everyone. So if you feel like that how come you’re trying so hard to help us sort things out?”
“Because I didn’t have the chance to do it for myself.”
And then something happened that I wasn’t expecting. Sean leaned over and hugged me (I almost recoiled at first, I was surprised; this was the first physical human contact I had received since I was restrained at the office), said ‘thank you’, and got up and left. I assume he went home, and that it went well because the next time I heard from him they were back together and seemingly happier than ever. I don’t know how it came about, maybe he went there, explained things and apologised, maybe she had cooled off a little bit and realised she didn’t want to lose everything over a drunken mistake and forgave him, or perhaps absence truly does make the heart grow fonder, Sean never told me what happened. What I do know it I was jealous and I hated myself for it. I begrudged Sean for sorting everything out so quickly and so easily when I was still struggling, for getting a second chance when I didn’t have one, for being the betrayer and still keeping everything when I had nothing; but most of all (and I hope he never learns this) I begrudged him his happiness. He’s my brother and obviously I love him, but sometimes, I really fucking hate him a lot more.
I phoned my mum that night for the first time since any of this happened, I don’t know why, it just felt like time. She wouldn’t be upset by the length of time since we last spoke, she knew what hours I (used to) work and how little free time I (used to) have, so she was very understanding. I explained the whole situation to her but she didn’t react how I expected.
“Oh David, of course she left you. A woman needs to be spoiled, she needs to feel loved, not neglected, and how could she when you’re never there. Do you know when we last spoke?”
“What does that have to do with anything? And besides, I’ve been going through a lot lately.”
“Well before that, and you’ve not come to see me in almost a year, since my birthday in fact.”
“That’s…that can’t be true.”
“If Marie felt even a fraction as unloved by you as I do is it any wonder she had to find someone else. People have needs David.”
“But what about me?”
“You always put your work before her.”
“I had to. She hardly works, we needed the money.”
“Money isn’t everything. Will you listen to yourself; you sound just like your father, and look what happened to him, dead at fifty. At work of course. The bastard never lived a day in his life, and what did he have to show for it? Nothing. A son who didn’t know him and a wife who hated him for it. I can’t see you do the same thing to yourself or that poor girl. I’m just grateful the two of you didn’t have any children.”
“…”
“I just hope it’s not too late for you. Oh, listen to me crying here, what you do to me. I had better go sort myself out. Bye David, thanks for calling at last, don’t go forgetting your poor old mum now.”
Well that didn’t go how I had planned.
YOU ARE READING
Facing Up
HumorWhen David Pullen finds out his girlfriend has been cheating on him his whole world comes crashing down and he soon finds himself jobless, homeless and desperate to get his life back on track, but of course nothing's ever that simple.
