Facing Up

10en

TEN

 

 

I struggled to sleep that night and woke up early the next morning feeling anxious, all my hopes rested on this hopeless job. I literally didn’t know what to do if I didn’t get it. How long would they keep me waiting before I heard from them? I suppose if worse came to worse I could swallow my pride and go crawling to Sean to see if he could put in a good word and get me a job with him. My phone ran and I excitedly lunged at it, clumsily knocking it off the bedside cabinet. I threw myself out of bed onto the floor clambering for it; it had slid under the bed and I had to strain to reach it. I gathered myself and looked to see who was calling. ‘Sean’. How disappointing.

            “Talk of the devil.” I said trying to pick myself up, both off the floor and my spirits.

            “What? Who are you talking to at half seven in the morning?”

            “What? No one. Well, myself. Well, thinking about you.”

            “Yeah ok, um, I just wanted to catch you before I went to work to see if you’re alright.”

            “And you had to do it at half seven in the morning when I could have been asleep?” Wait a minute, why was I picking a fight with my only friend in the world at the moment?

            “You’re not are you? Have you been drinking again? Do you want me to take the day off? I can be there in half an hour.”

            “What? No. I’m fine, what’s going on?”

            “It’s your anniversary today. Well it would have been.”

            “Shit. I had been so pre-occupied with things lately I had completely forgotten.”

            “And I guess it’s too late for me to go back and not say anything and leave you ignorant and blissful.”

            “I never was any good at remembering dates; I always had to rely on Marie’s calendar to see what was coming up. Kind of a flawed system now.”

            “Well you didn’t miss anything today really, I didn’t mean to remind you, I was just phoning up to make sure you weren’t dwelling on it. Bit of a balls up on my part.”

            “It would have been five years today. I can’t believe it. All for nothing.

            “You had some good times though didn’t you. And after all that’s really what it’s all about isn’t it? What else is there to life? Remember the time the four of us went out for dinner and it was the first time both of you had met Tanya; and Marie was trying so hard to make a good first impression. Then she started choking on her first mouthful of food and we all ignored her thinking she was just struggling with it being too spicy, so we just handed her a drink, and when she finally dislodged it you got drenched in vodka and coke.”

            “And we were all so shocked by it we just started laughing until it finally clicked what had just happened.”

            “And she gave you such a look!”

            “Yeah.” I snorted.

            “Well that’s what I mean. I know it might hurt but you’d still rather have had the last five years. Tis better to have loved and lost and all that shit.”

            “The good stuff makes me want her back though. I find it easier to hate her at the moment.”

            “If you want, I’ll come round later after work and we can just slag her off.”