Sanders Sides One Shots

I Swear He's A Cat

Roman and Patton work together to put cat ears on Virgil.

Roman's POV
Virgil is really cat like. He won't admit it be we all see it. The hissing, sleeping most of the day, scratching things. It was strange how much he acts like a cat. I decided I wanted to do something about it. I was going to make him wear cat ears. I recruited Patton to help me. I have a couple of plans to get them on him. First, we are going to try putting the on him while he sleeps. Patton and I sneak into Virgil's room while he's sleeping. He's been really tired lately and Patton said that he just told him that he's going to sleep for a couple of hours and will eat when he wakes up. Patton also said this would be the perfect time to do my first plan, since Virgil is a heavy sleeper. I smile as I see Virgil laying with in the perfect position to put the ears on his head. I try my best to gently slid the ears on, but the headband snaps, causing Virgil to wake up. He quickly pulls a bat from the other side of his bed and trys to swing at me. I quickly duck and run out, dragging Patton along. Virgil follows us out into the common room looking rather, shall I say, pissed. "You woke me the fuck up for some mother fucking cat ear. Mother FUCKING CAT EARS!!! Next time you wake me up for a stupid reason. I will fucking kill you." Virgil shout, almost swinging the bat at us. Logan just sits there, shaking his head. Virgil calms down slightly. He then goes into the garden. We hear the smashing of glass. Logan gets up and looks out the window. "He's smashing some bottles that he summoned." Logan says as he turns to us. We sigh in relief. Better the bottles than our heads. Virgil comes back looking very tired and dragging the bat that has smashed glass stuck in it. He then goes back to his room. Later that night Logan had to bring him his dinner. He said that if he came downstairs he might kill us. We waited several months before trying again. This time they're gonna be on his hood. I quickly slip the ear on his hood, over his headphones. He didn't take them off. But several hours later I hear him yelling about how someone put cat ear on his headphones. He storms down the stairs and throws the cat ears at my head. "Ow! What was that for?" I whine at him. "You know what, Prince Pompous. You put fricking cat ears on me again. Don't make me hit you with my bat. If you put cat ears on me one more time, I'm gonna hit you with a bat repeatedly." Virgil growls. I'm now scared. I can't have my pretty face ruined. After a few more months Logan sits us all down to discuss the cat ear issue. "Ok so Patton and Roman, for some reason, want Virgil to wear cat ears. Patton and Roman please explain why you want this." Logan says, treating this like debate. "Well, they fit his aesthetic and with how much he acts like a cat, I'm surprised that he hasn't grown a pair cat ears himself." I say, Patton nodding along with what I was saying. "Now Virgil, you don't want to wear the cat ears. Why is that?" Logan asks Virgil. "Because I'm not a freaking cat. Just I 'act like a cat' doesn't mean I needs to wear cat ears. And you don't just put ears on someone. At least ask them if they would be willing to wear them." Virgil says, sighing. "Well, would you be willing to wear the cat ears?" Patton asks, a hopeful look in his eyes. "Well yeah but I'm not gonna wear them all the time. That headband is uncomfortable." Virgil grimaces. "I think I have a comprise. Virgil if you would please lend one of you frequently wore hoodies." Logan says, holding his hand towards Virgil. Virgil summons one of his hoodies. It's the old black one. Logan takes the hoodie and goes to his room. While we wait for Logan to come out ( hehe come out) we watch a movie. Anytime I got near Virgil, he'd hiss at me. Finally Logan came out. Logan held up the hoodie. It didn't look any different. What did he do to it? I look at Virgil and Patton. They seem to see the difference, but what is it? Logan hand the hoodie to Virgil, who takes off his other one and puts the 'new' one on. Oh my Zeus!! Logan put cat ears on the hood of the hoodie. Virgil then yawned and stretched. He layed on the couch and went to sleep. He looked so cute in his cat ears. And I swear on all that is Disney that he was purring. Patton went over and began rubbing his back. The purring got louder. Virgil snuggled deeper into the couch. "Wow he really is like a cat." Logan said as he watched Virgil start to paw Patton's leg. Patton awwed and turned on the T.V.. Virgil slept quietly through five episodes of Steven Universe, two Disney movies, and several of Logan's lectures, until he started whimpering. I looked closely at Virgil's face to find that he had tears slowly streaming down his face. Patton shushs him and pulls Virgil into his lap. After a minute or so of silence, Virgil slowly opens his eyes. He looks fearfully at me and Logan, like we're going to hurt him. "Virgil, kiddo, what was your dream about?" Patton says as he rubs Virgil's arm, his tone caring and concerned. "Well it started off with all of us just hanging you but I did something and you guys started yelling at me. Then brought Thomas into it by trying to convince him to take anxiety medication. And he was gonna but then you each started yelling at him to stop. And he did. And then I woke up...you guys would never do that, right?" He looked up sadly. It broke my heart. The poor thing. "We would never dream of it Virgil." I say, moving over to him and Patton. I hug Virgil and Patton joins in. "Come on Logan. You have to join in or else we'll think you're mean." Patton says. Logan reluctantly puts his hand on Virgil's back. Virgil then pull him into a hug. For several minutes we sit there hugging. Soon the calming sound of purring fills the room, along with slow, even breathing. We all drift to sleep.