Guilt

Sinking

I can hear echos of others cries even from the top.

Their words cry out, comforting words fly after, like lies. Fake.

"I hate myself"

"I'm not skinny enough"

But the truth is as blinding as the rays that filter down.

Why?

Why must we discriminate others? Why do we rank them based on the smallest size they can fit into? I do, I do, I do.

And as I drag them down, I point at fat legs like slimy sleeves of seaweed. I pull them further. But I don't stop. Why not?

It still doesn't change the fact that I judged the size of their stomach. Doesn't take my words away. Doesn't make anyone happy.

I am so sorry. I say that they can't diet, that they just can't NOT eat their last bite, that their thighs touch. Guilt,guilt,guilt.......

But as I see their last hope fade, I realize the worst part of all, the one that I could control, is that I chose to say those things.

And was I was truly cruel. For soon, I know, that their smiling masks will fade and the sheild holding the tears will break and lies will spill down her face. But I still tell 'jokes' that I know will hurt,each and everybody. Pain and pain and pain.

"Look at her thighs!"

"Jiggly"

"Slightly obese"

So I try to stop, like a red light at an intersection. But I can't. I throw mean comments like knifes, and when they hit she tumbles into the ground. It would be lucky if she didn't break her foot on impact. But I will come and laugh at her, at how dumb she is. How ugly and fat she is. How useless she is.

She will wish she didn't exist.