Guilt

Everyday

They have no idea.

They don't know everyday,

I look at them,

And,

Everyday,

Alone,

I cry.

At the fact that they hate and hurt,

Themselves,

That they feel pain.

They have no idea that

I cry for them,

Everyday.

That I wish

I could help.

Them put the pieces of,

A broken heart,

Back together.

And I wish they could feel,

Confident, loved, happy.

For a while,

I get,

What I want.

They have warm smiles.

They have strong laughter.

They have happiness.

Then soon,

They have frowns.

They have silence.

They have pain.

No,

I hate it.

That they wish,

They could pull a

Blade

Against their

Smooth skin.

I feel it,

Their faces hold despair,

Depression,

Pain.

It tears and tugs at my heart.

And then,

Tears.

Because the girls I know

Laugh at my jokes.

The girls I know

Smile

The girls I know

Is king and caring strong.

The girls I know

Are happy.

But for a time,

They are strangers to me.

Depression fills

Them up.

It tugs at a place in my heart,

The pain tears me apart

Leaving heartache upon heartache.

It shots hate like bullets,

And agony like blades.

It brings pain,pain,PAIN.

And as quickly as it came

It's gone

And is replaced by the friends I know.

The the process repeats.

And every time,

Every

Fucking time,

I laugh again with the friends I know.

It becomes harder and harder,

Knowing that the happiness

Never lasts

Forever.

But it doesn't matter.

Because no matter what pain they feel.

No matter the scars upon their skin,

No matter how much they hate

Themselves

Because of them

I feel love

In memories

In laughter.

So I keep laughing.

Again

And

Again

And

Again

And

Again.

No matter.

And I know their hearts are scared,

And other places to,

All because of who?