Whenever I say I'm okay, I'm actually lying.
Like everybody does. And I know you've heard about this too much but I'll still say it. I was never okay.
If only I could bring back those days when all my happiness were true. When loneliness means nothing but something I just grew up to. If there was a pill that brings me back to the past, I'll surely take a dozen of it. I'm not liking where I am now.
I don't want fake smiles, and frustrating myself on making up jokes that doesn't even make me laugh. I hate disappointing people who've expected a lot from me. I hate turning my back on those who's healed me before. I know you're just trying to do it again but please, I want to heal myself this time.
I want to bring back the self I lost while finding a better one. I just don't know how long it'll take.
