Don't Let Me Go

How To Believe In A Promise

Mark drops into the dirt, sobs racking his body. He covers his mouth to stifle his sobs as the infected that was his girlfriend stumbles towards them. Nate just stares at her in disbelief, Of all the infected to find us now, why did it have to be her? Ken frowns, seeing that his friends are too traumatized to do what needs to be done. He quickly pulls out his knife, walking towards Amy. The infected woman turns her dead gaze towards him and his eyes soften as she comes towards him, groaning and growling. 

He sighs and runs up, quickly getting behind her before she can turn around. He grabs her by the hair, tears in his eyes as he drives his knife up into her skull. Her lifeless body drops to the ground and Ken wipes his knife on his jeans before putting it back through his belt loop. He moves and picks Amy's body up in his arms. He carries her over to where Matt lies, still wrapped in a blanket. Nate silently goes back to digging and Ken goes back into the house, returning moments later with more blankets. 

He wraps Amy up in them, listening to Mark's stifled sobs and Nate's grunting as he digs a bigger hole to bury their friends in. Once Amy is wrapped up, Ken picks his shovel back up and helps Nate dig. No words are exchanged between the three friends as Ken and Nate dig and Mark just sits in the dirt, still crying. After a few hours, the hole is finished, and Mark is still sitting in the dirt, but he's no longer crying. Nate and Ken carefully drop Matt into the hole, but hesitate to touch Amy. 

Nate sighs, "Mark? We're going to bury them. Do you.. Want to put her in..?"

Mark looks at them, looks down, looks back at them, then he nods. He slowly pushes himself to his feet and walks over to Nate and Ken. Ken places his hand on Mark's shoulder, "She's at peace now."

Mark nods, already feeling his tears returning. His face is red and is eyes are puffy from all the crying he's already done. He's surprised his cries haven't brought any more of the infected to them, surprised and glad. He gently lifts Amy's body into his arms, careful not to let the blanket unwrap. As much as he loves her, he doesn't think he can handle seeing her face like that again. He turns to the hole, looking down at the blanketed body of Matt and he shivers.

 With Ken's help, he drops Amy down beside Matt. The three of them bury the bodies as quickly as possible, and by the time they finish, the sun is starting to rise into the sky. Felix and Jack come out of the forest, approaching them as they finish up. Mark looks at them, "What are you doing here?"

"We came looking for you," Felix replies.

Jack nods, "You guys have been gone all night, we were all getting worried. Tyler said he'd stay and keep an eye on camp, and Marzia offered to stay and keep Stephanie company, so we came to find you. What were you guys doing out here for so long?"

"Burying Matthew," Nate states like he was answering a question about the weather.

"And Amy.." Mark ads, barely above a whisper. 

Jack's eyes widen, "Oh.."

Felix looks uncomfortable, "I see, well.. We should get back to camp if you're all done here.."

Nate glares at Felix, but says nothing. They all head back into the woods, going back to their camp.  Tyler and Marzia stand as they approach, Stephanie just looks up from where she's sitting. They all settle in silently, no one really talks or asks about where Mark, Nate, and Ken were. Nate sits beside Stephanie again and she leans on him, like she's drowning and he's the only thing that can pull her to safety. He puts an arm around her, breaking the camp's silence, "How are you doing..?"

She shakes her head, "I don't know.. Not good..?"

"I know.." Nate sighs, looking up at the early morning sky, "Have you slept at all since I left last night..?"

She shakes her head again, "I was worried something had happened to you, too.. That.. You weren't coming back, either.."

"That's not going to happen to me, okay?" Nate looks back at Stephanie, holding her a little tighter, "I promise."

"You don't know that." She pulls away from him, "You can't promise anything now. Because it could happen at any time. And then you'll just be gone, too. Just like everyone else. There's no way to ensure that won't happen. You can delay it, but you can't promise it won't ever happen."

"Stephanie.." Nate's eyes soften.

She shakes her head, "It's going to happen to you, it's going to happen to me, it's going to happen to everyone. That's just how it is. We're all going to die too soon, and we're not going to mean a thing. We're here and then gone in an instant. Life doesn't mean anything anymore, it can't be protected anymore."

"It can be protected," Nate insists, "I will protect you. I will keep you safe, Stephanie. I will, I promise you that. I don't care if you don't believe in promises anymore, but I still do and I won't just give up on you because you're broken and defeated right now. I know it hurts right now, losing him, trust me, I know. But you can't let it keep you pinned down. You have to move on, to keep fighting, because that's what he would want you to do."

"You don't know what he would want," she stands, shaking. Tears fills her angry eyes, "No one does, because he doesn't want anything anymore! Matthew is dead! He's dead, Nate! He doesn't want anything anymore.. Not a damn thing because this world stole him from me. It stole him, and it will steal you and me, too. It'll steal us all and then who we were will mean nothing!"

Nate stands, grabbing her by the shoulders, "Who we are means something because we're still alive! I won't let you just give up. I will drag you across the damn world is I have to, I will not let you go, do you understand me? You mean something to me, and I won't just let the world take you away."