Maddie's Girls

Chapter 19

There was something Becca did that the more time I spend with her, the more I noticed.

She was good at faking. She was good at pretending but if you really listened, if you really saw her, you noticed.

Becca didn't smile much but whenever she wasn't okay and pretending she was, she smiled more than usual. Almost as if trying to show that she was okay, that she was happy. Her smile was forced and too wide, it didn't reach her eyes.

She was holding my hand, dancing with the bottle of rum in her other hand. I stood still, watching her. She was so good at pretending that I almost believed it and a part of me wanted to believe it, let her have some fun and pretend that she was okay... however— I wanted it to be real.

"Why aren't you with the girls?" I leaned in a little, right when she was about to make a bridge out of my arm and walk under it.

Becca chuckled, leaning back away, still holding my hand. "Let's not pretend we don't know they don't like me."

I squeezed her hand and pulled her towards me, spinning her around so her back was against my front. It was a move she taught me.

Becca laughed out loud, her body vibrating against mine. "I expect a 'best teacher' mug."

"I've been practising," I told her, placing my chin on her shoulder. Thankfully, Becca wasn't much taller than me. I mean, she was about three or two inches taller but that was okay. "Let's just say Aunt Ceci had to double up on our rations of plasters."

"Oh, her poor little toes," Becca turned around with ease, her arms over my shoulders and suddenly I don't know how to breathe because we're face to face and she's too close.

"I'm not that bad." I swallowed hard, looking away from her.

She was too close and when her eyes stare into mine, I go stupid.

She really did have pretty eyes.

"I love this song," Her voice was low and raspy, her bottle rests against my back. It was cold and moist and it made me shiver.

"It's on the playlist," I said.

Becca nodded, resting her head on my shoulder, swaying from right to left, slowly dancing.

"I gave her ride or die and she gave me games," She sang, my heart dropped to my feet. I would be stupid not to know she meant it for Maddison. "Somehow, she manages to break my heart even when we're not together anymore. Even when I've moved on. She says sorry and expects everything to be okay. How could I be so stupid?"

Becca laughed but it was bitterness coming out of her. I knew exactly how she felt because I felt like this just a few weeks ago. I wished I could tell her that I knew how it felt but I didn't know if Becca would react like Nina did. I didn't think she'd forgive me and I was afraid of what it'd feel like to lose Becca's friendship.

I didn't want to be Becca-less.

"You're not stupid." I whispered, "You were in love."

"I was stupid."

"And now you're drunk."

Becca snorted. "I'm not, like, drunk drunk though."

I held her tight. I knew she could handle alcohol and she was not missing her footing or anything but I just wanted to hold her a little tighter

"No, you're just a tiny bit tips," I chuckled, standing back so we could see each other, so she knows she couldn't bullshit me anymore and I didn't want to pretend. "Are you okay?"