Unpredictable

Chapter 34

Shutting the door behind me and hastily checking the time, I took off my shoes and jacket. 

"Hey there," A familiar voice said from behind me. I spun around, a bit shocked that anyone would still be up this late.

"Ashton? What are you still doing awake?" 

"Waiting for you. I've been waiting for a couple of hours now," He pauses, chuckling a little bit and continuing. "Don't worry, you don't need to explain anything to me. I saw the guy out there, it's all clear to me now."

"No, he was a friend I had met at the... You know what, never mind." Turning around to walk away, I felt a cold hand grab onto my shoulder and pull me back.

"That's how it always is with you. Always telling me not to worry and to stop asking. Do you want me to stop caring too? Maybe I should hear that come out of your mouth."

Quickly prying his hand from my shoulder, I gave him an icy cold glare. Ash backed away, his emotionless stare digging deep into my eyes. "I don't think this will work. I loved you for so many years, and when I finally had you, I was complete. I thought that it was love at first sight and that it was going to remain that way. I'm sorry that I was such a disappointment to you, that I cared about you and loved for you. But you know what? You're still amazing to me. You're smart, funny, gorgeous and kind. When you smile it melts my heart. The reason I kept smiling everyday was because of you. You were my motivation and my only love."

He smiled, holding my hands in his. Although, it wasn't the sort of truly content smile. The smile was there, but it didn't reach his eyes. There was no usual spark or glint in his eyes, no happiness at all. He was pouring his heart out, only because he was heart broken. He turned, opening the door. Standing on the front porch, he sighed and looked straight at me. This time, his stare pierced right into my soul, shaming me and making me feel guilty about everything. Leaning in, for a brief moment, I thought he was going to kiss me a last time...

His head swivelled around, bringing his lips to my ear. The hot, tingling feeling of his breath tickled my neck, but I let him continue. 

"We were so close to being in love. If only I had known that you didn't want me, the way that I've always wanted you... We almost knew what love was. But almost is never enough." Smiling and backing away, he began making his way down the street, disappearing into the distant moonlit night. 

To say that I felt guilty and hurt was an understatement. Closing the door, I took my usual favourite place atop the window sill, staring out into the darkness. Usually, girls would cry and probably feel heartbroken. But, this... It felt completely normal to me. It was just some poor excuse of love, and now it's become undone. How did I get so numb? We were as close to love as we would ever get, but I was helpless like a child lost in the dark.

"Hey sis, you ok? I heard it all." Calum stepped into the living room, his arms folded with a sympathetic smile on his face.

"I'm absolutely fine. Just a bit tired actually. I think I might get some sleep now," 

"Hey -" Before he could finish, I had sprinted up the stairs and locked my bedroom tightly shut.  Plugging my headphones in, I fell asleep as soon as my head had hit the pillow.

~

"I'm really worried about her. She said that she was feeling fine yesterday but she's usually up by now. I don't know man, I just really need to talk to Ash right now. He isn't picking up his phone or replying to any of his messages." Stepping out of my room and rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I turned to face a distressed looking Calum talking to someone on the phone - I presumed that it was Luke. "Oh yeah dude, she's come out of her room just now... Yeah. Sure.. Ok I'll talk to you later mate." He hung up and ran towards me, embracing me in a tight hug. "I was so worried about you!" Grabbing my face and stroking my hair, he looked around worriedly for any signs of real sadness or anger. "Were you crying? I hope you weren't crying. I'm going to talk to Ashton today, we can get this sorted out. Oh god, I was so worried about you in there! Oh and, where exactly were you last night? Were you with a guy? How did you get home? Did someone give you a lift?"

I burst into a fit of giggles at his outburst of worry, and put my finger to his lips. "You better shut up Cal, you talk too much. It's starting to worry me!" Locking the door to the bathroom, I chuckled to myself and began getting ready for the day.

"JoJo! Someone's here to see you!" Calum was practically screaming his lungs out from downstairs, just to tick me off. Smiling, I applied some lip gloss and tied my hair up into a messy bun. "Okay Cal! I'm coming downstairs right now! Like I said before, you better shut it because all you ever seem to do is talk. It's starting to give me a - " I abruptly stopped dead in my tracks, as I entered the living room. 

Ashton was sitting next to Calum on the sofa.