Storytime

Chapter 24: If Looks Could Kill

"Where are you taking me?" He walks a few feet away, hands in his pockets. My feet drag behind me- why am I still so afraid of him? If he was going to hurt me, he would have done it already- right?

"Well, it's late, very late, and I'm not just going to let you freeze to death in a cemetery am I?" 

 I wish he would. I'm surprised he didn't.

We continue to walk in silence. The darkness begins to take it's toll on my eyes as it closes in on my path of sight. My night vision has never been the best but it has never been as bad as this before.

"Can we- Can we stop for a second? I can barely keep my eyes open." I sigh deeply, pausing in the middle of the path.

"We're almost there." There is no compassion in his voice. No warmth, no trace of him actually caring what happens to me. There is only a cold bitterness, and I don't expect anything more. As far as he's concerned, I'm a murderer, and he has no responsibility to me other than the words of his sister. Even for me, it's hard to move past the image of him I have in my head. Despite the horrible things I had to face, and the direct lessons I taught myself, this boy was one of the only positive things that existed in that world, and is one of the many negative things to exist in this world. I still long for there to be a part of Ryan in real world Ben, but I know I'm longing for the impossible. Instead, I am left with the memory of the Ben who would do anything to prove his love to me, but even that Ben would be preferable over the one who leads me along a dark pathway to an unspecified destination.  Part of me wants to run, but I know that currently my situation doesn't allow that to be an optin. He is the only thing close to a friendship that I have right now and I can't jeopardize that for anything. I can't be alone again.

"We're here." My eyes can't even begin to register my surroundings, but I identify the familiar colour of the door in front of me. For a second, my feet are frozen to the floor as my heart begins to race so that I can feel it hitting my ribcage. Once I regain the ability to mvoe, I try my hardest to pull away from Ben's grip, I use every ounce of strength I have left but I barely manage to take one step. It's a combination of exhaustion and the sheer strength of Ben's grip. He is clearly set on me doing this, and I have no right to challenge him.

"This is what it's going to take. It won't fix anything, but if her-my-family can learn to trust you again, even after what you did to her, then maybe I can too. But remember they aren't tied to the same promise as me. They won't be as leniant as I have been. And I know you're tired, but maybe that will give you more incentive to do this properly." I can't do anything except nod. How am I supposed to respond? There's no getting out of this, no challenging him, because this is exactly what I need to do to regain the chances of not only a good relationship with a family again, not only a good relationship with my family again, but to gain closure for myself. If I can do this, my family's shame and depair won't be a problem in comparison to the torment I am about to face. I have no choice, and I don't want a choice because I know if I had one, I would walk back to that cemetary and sleep in the cold.

The door opens. The first face I see is the face of the man who was driving the car, the man that let the wheel slip, and then man who will be the hardest to convince. I have never seen a face so full of pain before in my life.

"What is she doing here?" I'm surprised to even be asked. I always thought that if I ever came back here, the door would be in my face as soon as they saw it. It was said so monotone, I could hear the underlying anger and sadness and I'm surprised he didn't just yell.

"She's come to talk. About Josie. There's  a lot she needs to say." Ben spoke calmly, but with the same cold tone of voice that he had while we were walking. The man in the doorway takes a deep breath in and closes his eyes as if to send the tears back.