Not over you

Chapter 18

Chapter 18
A few weeks later

Ezra's POV

The last few weeks were amazing. I've never been so happy in all my life. For the first time in a long while, I believe in a bright future... I believe that I'll be happy. And better than that, only the fact that I'll have Aria and my daughters by my side.

For the last few weeks, we've been together almost every day. I got to know my daughters better and went on some dates with Aria. I've also spent some nights in their house and even though nothing actually happened between Aria and I, I couldn't be happier. We watched old movies on the couch, talked about everything and anything ( I'd forgotten how easy it is to talk with her) and got to know each other better again. Even though I noticed some changes in her, she's still my Aria, the little brunette with hazel eyes who I fell in love with. Indeed she's more mature and responsible but she's still the same. I still know how she likes her coffee, what she likes to eat and her favorite books and movies are still the same. Even though she hasn't changed that much, there's something, I can't put my finger on it, that changed. I've noticed it before but now that I got to spend more time with her I'm sure something happened. I know she looks happy, especially when she's with the girls, but her laugh is not the same, and her eyes... something about them changed. It looks like a part of them died and that kills me. I've thought about asking her but at the same time I want her to tell me, if there's anything to tell, in her own time. I don't want her to feel like I'm pressuring her and I definitely don't want to push her, so I guess I'll have to wait.

Every night we fell asleep on the couch (which happened a few times), with her in my arms, I noticed that she was tossing and turning and mumbling things in her sleep and she seemed really agitated. Although, every time I asked her she said everything was fine so I stopped asking.

We went out a few times to have dinner, go to the movies or eat ice cream, and it was amazing. It felt like old times, before I ruined everything. Holding her hand on mine, I can't help but notice how they fit perfectly. Kissing her, I can't help but notice how our lips feel perfect together. Touching her skin, I can't help but feel how soft it is. Just looking at her, I can't help but notice how perfect she is and how I'd give anything to spend the rest of my life with her by my side.

The night of the picnic in the mountain, when I saw her so relaxed and happy I realized, not that I wasn't sure before but still, that I can't let her go. I can't lose her again, EVER. I need her as much as I need air to breathe and I have to make this right. I would never forgive myself if I hurt her again, especially after everything I put her through.

When I decided to come back, after Hollis offered me the job, I had no idea what was going to happen. At first, I didn't want to come... after all, this town is full of memories of Aria and I wasn't sure how I'd handle that, but then I realized that I couldn't keep running away. Besides, her memories would never leave me, wherever I went. But I knew it wouldn't be easy... I knew that not matter where I went I would see her; I knew that I'd miss her even more, if that was even possible; I knew that even not wanting to, I'd be looking for her everywhere. Nonetheless, I came back and now I can say that it was, for sure, the right decision. When I walked in The Brew that day, I was waiting to see her. I don't even know how to explain it because I knew she couldn't be there. Well, I thought so, because she was, in fact, there.

When our gazes met each other it was like the whole world stopped and it was just the 2 of us. I just wanted to take her in my arms and hold her forever so she wouldn't leave me again, but I knew it wouldn't be that easy... not after everything I did to her. I knew I didn't have her anymore and would probably never have her again, but when I saw that man approaching her and laying his hand on her lower back I lost it. I had to make a huge effort not to let her see it, but it killed me knowing that she had moved on. I mean, why wouldn't she? She's Aria...she's perfect. Any man would be lucky to be with her. I had been that man, but I messed up. When she confirmed he was her boyfriend... I don't even know what I felt. I knew it, but hearing it was... unbearable.