Not over you

Chapter 10

Aria's POV

I'm standing in front of the door of the house where I grew up. The house I once called home. I'm so nervous; I have no idea how they'll react. I never told them I was coming back, and even though I know they missed me, I know they are kinda disappointed with me for running away without saying anything. And I feel really bad for that... guilty even. I never intended for them to suffer or feel bad and worry about me, but at the time I had to leave and be alone. But I think that if I tell them, or at least my mother, why I left they will understand

"It's now or never" I thought and knocked on the door. I play with my fingers until I hear the door open and my mother gasp. And in that moment, seeing her for the first time in more than 4 years, I feel my eyes full of tears. She doesn't say anything, and I see that she's also in verge of crying. She just looks at me and smiles for a few seconds before hugging me and I hug her back. We stay in each other's arms for what feels like hours, both crying and unable to say anything. How I missed her... her eyes, her smile, her scent, her hugs. I even forgot how they felt so good.

Then she breaks the hug and looks at me, still crying and smiling. She pulls a piece of my hair behind my ear and wipes my tears.

"I'm so sorry mom. So, so sorry." I cry.

"Ohh honey..." she says and hugs me again rubbing my back and brushing my hair.

"I missed you..." I whisper, almost unable to talk.

"We missed you too." She says breaking the hug and looking at me in the eyes..

"Can I come in?" I ask and she nods. I walk in the house and look at everything. It didn't change a lot, just a few new pictures and the walls are painted with different colors, and for a few seconds I wonder if my bedroom is still my bedroom or if they changed it into something else. We stay in silence for a while, just looking at each other until my mother breaks the silence.

"Do you want anything? Tea or coffee?"

"Coffee..?" she nods and goes to the kitchen and prepares 2 mugs of coffee for both of us. I go after her and sit on one of the chairs. She hands me the mug and sits by my side. We stare at each other. I have no idea how to start this conversation.

"Where's dad?" I ask and sip my coffee.

"He's not here. He went to New York for work. He'll be back in a few days."

"Ohh..." I wish he was here, but at the same time I fear his reaction to the news, and I know that all of this will be easier if only my mom's here.

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming? Where are you staying? You know you don't need to spend money on a hotel. You can stay here. How have you been?" She asks, being a mother and wanting to know everything.

"Mom, calm down. I'll tell you everything, I promise. I'm done with hiding and lying." She looks at me but doesn't say anything. I breathe in and out slowly trying to calm my nerves. There are only 2 ways for this to happen: either she takes the news very well and forgives me for running away, or she blames me for running away and hates me and my daughters and I can only hope for the first.

"Aria, you can tell me anything. I'm your mother and I'll support you no matter what." She says as if feeling my fear.

"So..." I start nervously. I bit my lip. "I'm not really sure how to start this." I laugh nervously. "I just... You'll probably hate me when I tell you everything, and you'll be so disappointed and it'll kill me seeing you looking at me like that..." I say in verge of crying.

"I'll never hate you, Aria. I could never... and whatever you did I'm sure you had a reason to do it. And as much as I may not agree with it, it's done, and neither of us can change the past. We can only focus on the future, and now that I have you back I would never risk losing you again." She says and I relax a bit. "So... how long have you been here?"