Not over you

Chapter 21

Ezra's POV

It's been a few days since my argument with Aria. I've been doing everything I can so she talks to me. I've called countless times, left so many voice-mails that her box is full, sent so many texts that if there was a limit I'm sure I'd have exceeded it. I've gone to her house many times but she never opened the door... not even when I spent the whole day outside begging her to let me in.

I'm losing her. I'm losing the love of my life, my soul mate... again. I feel like every day that passes by, I lose her a little bit more, and I seem to be unable to do anything to make it stop. Losing her has always been my biggest fear and now it's happening again because I am an asshole and said something that I shouldn't, especially because I don't even feel that way. I would never blame her for what happened... Yes, maybe she could have done something differently but I made her do what she did, so this whole mess is both our faults. Although, this time, I won't let her go. This time I'll fight for her... for us. I won't give up until she lets me explain why I did what I did, even though I know there isn't an acceptable reason why. I just need to tell her exactly how I feel about her and about this, and then, if and only if she looks me in the eyes and tells me to leave her alone, I will. I mean, I'll leave her alone as much as I can, seeing as we have our daughters and I won't leave them.

I've barely slept, lately. I've been wondering what else I can do so she talks to me. I'm lost without her... the last 4 years were awful and I don't want them to happen again. She is the love of my life and I need her. I want us to be a happy family with our daughters and hopefully more children, in the future. But for that to happen I need to do something and I think I know what it is.

I'd been thinking about it for a while... wondering what else I could do, when it popped up. Yesterday night, around 4am, I realized that if she wasn't going to open the damn door, I'd have to go inside, someway. Then I remembered that she had mentioned that her mom had the keys of the house so I'm going to visit the Montgomery's house and talk with Ella and try to convince her to give me the keys.

(...)

Standing in front of the door of this house, I can't help but the remember the day Aria and I told her parents about us. It might not be the best memory of us but it was the first time they saw us as a couple and even though they hated the idea, at first, I like to think that we made them see that the fact that I was her teacher or the age difference doesn't matter. I like to think that they see how much we love each other, even after everything that happened through the years. I like to think that they accept us and are by our side.

Ella opens the door a few seconds after I knock. She must know what happened because as soon as she sees me she frowns and gives me a death glare.

"What did you do to her?" She asks, trying to sound as calm as possible, but I can see the anger in her eyes.

"Can we talk, please? I... I'm so, so sorry, I don't even know why..."

"Come in." She says, and I hope she can see how much I regret what happened and how lost and desperate I am. I don't even care if I'm making a fool of myself, I just need her to help me.

I walk in the living room where, to my surprise, I see the girls playing on the ground. I had no idea they were here and I'm not sure they'll react when they see me. I know it's bad but I haven't come to see them since the argument. When they told me they hated me my heart broke even more. I have no idea why I said those stupid things... I was just so frustrated and mad... but the thing is: I took it all out on Aria, when I was mad at myself and just thinking that I can lose her and the girls forever because of that kills me.

As soon as the twins see me they frown, stop laughing and playing and run upstairs. I sigh but know that I can't blame them. They probably hate me right now and they have every right to.