ONESHOTS ⇒ DIZA

angel.

[this is a vent chapter but]

she had her friends, a family with stable income, did well in school. her life was seemingly perfect. behind closed doors? not so much. liza koshy was the poster child of the popular girl, yet not at all. she had everyone at her high school captivated, not only by beauty, but utter kindness. she was somehow one of the most popular girls in her town, yet she was so down to earth. everyone wanted to be her, and it was hard to come up with a list of people who dislike her. but nonetheless, she sat in a ball, sobbing in her dark bathroom, a razor held up to her wrists almost nightly. she saw a therapist weekly and was on somewhat of a high dosage of zoloft. she longed for love, genuine, wild, perfect love, and she hated herself so much that it became out of reach. she thought she had it with david, but managed to snap herself into the belief that she didn't. after all, he was her best friend, and her weren't those people always fake? she had slowly but surely managed to convince herself that her existence was simply laughable, and people only talked to her to turn around and talk shit, and that was now the only reality she had seen. boy, was she wrong.

david had sat with liza at lunch that day, his usual spot to her right. he had watched her eat the little that she did, and as she moved her hand upwards to tuck loose hair behind her ears, her sleeve had rolled down slightly. although david did find it odd that she wore long sleeves in the hot california weather, he knew better than to ask her about it, so he just wondered to himself why she did it. he finally found out. the scars lining her wrist looked painful, and he was sure they were self inflicted. yet he still didn't ask her about it.

liza sat at a barstool, blankly typing a religion essay out. she put her head in her hands, tearing up. this was more than she could take. her phone dinged. leaning over to grab it, she read the notification at the top of her lock screen.

{REMINDER: take zoloft (9:40pm, nightly)}, the phone read. looking back up at her computer, then down at her phone again, she knew what she had to do. she unlocked her phone, typing a quick text out to david while glancing at her battery percentage. 3%.

'david. i need you to know something, i need to thank you for this. for everything. for what we had. thank you for becoming my official best friend, when we were just in grade nine. thank you for sticking with me till now, december 5th, in grade eleven. having you next to me has been so meaningful, and although i truly do feel like this past year has been absolute fucking hell, thank you for being my rock, without knowing it, while probably talking shit about me. i know you saw those cuts today, so i'm sure you understand that i have to do what i'm doing. i love you, unconditionally, even if you don't feel that way towards me. have a great life, god knows i didn't.'

her hands shook as she pressed send. she slowly uncapped her pill bottle, hearing that satisfying click of it opening for what she knew would be the last time. her parents were due back from their impromptu trip back to houston tomorrow. there was nothing stopping her. she emptied the medicine into her hand, grimacing slightly as they came in contact with her skin. no balls, she began to swallow them, starting off one by one but eventually just shoving the rest of the handful into her mouth and down her throat. she looked around the room one last time, before lying down in the middle of the kitchen floor.

the text hadn't gone through to david; her phone died before it was able to send.

liza's parents arrived home the next day.

                          ——————————
                      elizabeth shaila koshy
                    mar 31 1996 - dec 5 2012
          an angel that got her wings too early.
                       ———————————

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thanks for reading babes!