Shakespeare shake up

Scene 2

SCENE TWO.....

KRISTEN and AVERIL are walking into Drama class. (split stage would be an appropriate convention for this scene) They walk in and LEIGH and EILLEEN are on the other side of the room, holding two books and pointing at them and shaking their heads.

AVERIL:

(Glaring at the other girls)  Look at them. Still holding those goddamn books-

KRISTEN:

(Speaking over Averil) One of them is different-

AVERIL:

(Ignoring her)  Makes me sick how.....how.....

KRISTEN:

.....Academic?

AVERIL:

How academic they think they are.

(Kristen pretends not to have heard Averil. She plugs in her earphones and sits down as Averil stays standing, still glaring at the other girls)

(Focus shifts to other side of room)

LEIGH:

I still don't get it.

EILLEEN:

How could they get it wrong on both? I mean, "Hamlet" and "Macbeth" sound nothing alike. It's not that hard to distinguish the two.

LEIGH:

Macbeth" has ghosts in it.

EILLEEN:

Really?

(At this point, the actress playing Averil should roll her eyes and shake her head, making sure both gestures are clear to the audience)

LEIGH:

Yeah. And "Hamlet" has witches in it. Come to think of it, I believe it has ghosts in it too.

EILLEEN:

(Looking down at HAMLET book) He has kill'd me, mother (laughs) Dies.

LEIGH:

Is that in "Hamlet"? (Eilleen nods) That's my favorite part. (Tries to be dramatic, but failing, giggling as she speaks) Look at this. O treachery! Fly, good Fleance, fly, fly, fly! Thou mayst revenge. O slave! Dies.

(Leigh pretends to swoon and die in Eilleen's arms. Eilleen, who didn't expect this, drops her HAMLET book and also Leigh, who falls to the floor. They laugh, falling and giggling onto each other, which continues as Averil speaks)

AVERIL:

My god, look at them! Look! They're acting like a couple of five year olds!

(enter TEACH)

TEACH:

What's going on? Leigh, Eilleen, what are you doing on the floor?

LEIGH/ EILLEEN:

(Giggling.) Nothing. Just talking. (Continues laughing)

AVERIL:

(Angry) They're talking about Shakespeare's plays, and being utterly stupid about it. Look-(grabs HAMLET from the floor and snatches MACBETH off LEIGH, shouting) They're saying "Macbeth" is "Hamlet" and "Hamlet" is "Macbeth"!

TEACH:

Calm down, Averil. It's obviously just an inside joke. (Leaves the room)

(LEIGH moves to grab one of the books off AVERIL, who tries to keep hold of them)

AVERIL:

CAN'T YOU SEE THAT THEY ARE "HAMLET" AND "MACBETH"? NOT "MACBETH" AND "HAMLET" !!!

(LEIGH snatches the books from her. She hands one to EILLEEN)

EILLEEN:

You know, Averil, your argument doesn't make much sense either......

LEIGH:

Not at all.

(Exit LEIGH and EILLEEN. AVERIL moves to walk away too, then spots KRISTEN, sitting wide eyed and open mouthed. AVERIL pulls her roughly to her feet and tugs her off stage)