Why Him? (BILL SKARSGÅRD/ ROMAN GODFREY)

Regretful Decisions

'Great, I ruined it I'm so stupid' I thought, I watched as he started walking away so I grabbed his hand he turned around his lips were swollen and red from all the kissing, his lips were so kissable and I couldn't help it I shouldn't want him but I do.

"Don't go" I breathe. "Please" He looks at me, blank expression on his face and I'm trying so hard to read him. I shouldn't of said it, I'm being so selfish he's in love with my mother.

"Lily" He pauses, I look down and fidget with the bed covers waiting to see what he's going to say.

"If I had a choice I would stay all night with you" He mumbles, I look back up and he's already at the door he looks at me one last time before leaving the room.

I let out a sigh and lay back down in my bed, the scent of Roman filling up the sheets and I pull the covers closer to me and snuggle up to them. I can't help it, I just want him here with me. I close my eyes and my last thought was Roman before I let sleep take over me.

The light entering the curtains were currently shining through the room, I feel the heat of the sun on my face. I slowly open my eyes letting them adjust to the light, I still wonder if last night was just a dream some part of me was hoping it was. I would never want to hurt mother like that, but it takes two for that to happen so it was Roman's fault just as much it was mine. I get up and walk in the bathroom, starting the shower I hop in and start doing the usual routine consisting of scrubbing my body with lotion and soap.

I then get dressed in jeans and a cropped shirt, I start applying some makeup which is just light foundation, mascara that's about it just plain boring. I walk downstairs to see no one in sight, my eyes scan the room but I find a note on the bench I pick it up reading:

'Went out with Roman, we'll be back soon'

I rolled my eyes and got my phone out I messaged Justin,

To Justin 💗:

Come over.

I put my phone down but I heard it vibrate and I smiled when I saw Justin already replied,

From Justin 💗:

On my way.

I put my phone down and walk across the hall in the bathroom, I stand in front of the mirror making sure I look decent. I mess my hair up a bit and when I was finally satisfied I walk out and make my way back up the stairs and in my room.

Minutes later I hear the front door open, I notice it's Roman and mother as I can hear them chatting 'shit' I mumble. I open my window and I see Justin's car pull up in the driveway so I quickly pick up the phone and dial his number.

"Yeah I'm here" I hear him say.

"Can you sneak past?" I whisper.

"I can try why?" He asks.

"Just do it, I'll explain everything later"

He mumbles 'okay' and I hang up, fingers crossed he can pass them without any of them seeing him. I wait impatiently and let out a sigh of relief when the door opens and Justin stands in the door way. Although no one can beat Roman when he leans in the door way, no one can compare to him. I mentally slap myself for those stupid thoughts, I can't be comparing everyone to him because it was all a mistake.

"Did they see you?" I ask, he comes over and sits next to me on my bed.

"Nah, Roman's here isn't he?" He asks, his fists balling up.

"Yes and I've got a lot of shit to tell you"

I told Justin how I faked saying I'm dating him and he was pretty chill about it, I told him everything except last night. He wouldn't look at me the same I know what he'd think and I don't blame him.

"I could roll with that, I'm a good actor" He chuckles, playfully pushing me and I fake gasp and start pushing him back. He then pushed me and I nearly fall off the bed making him chuckle and grabbing me before I could. We both just stared at each other for a bit and I see him leaning in and I start to freak out.

I thought 'fuck it' and I start to lean in too when I hear the door open, we both pull away and look to see Roman standing in the door way. He looked shocked and hurt? His arms are crossed and his glare moves on to Justin, his jaw clenches.