I got into my car once more. These are troubled times I go through: the day is foggy, I'm loosing my headlights, and my engine is working with dirty oil. While driving, when gearing up, I can't step on the clutch, and all those gears inside tremble, I hear a horrible crumble. The tachometer is lying: the rpm don't sound accurate outside as seen inside. I can't limit my speed, for the speedometer does not tell, truly, how fast I am going. Down, in the pavement, the signals are worn off, and the traffic lights are off: I am loosing all direction, and cannot turn my steering wheel good enough. So, I lost track of the lane.
It was all better when you were in the copilot seat, owning the music, cooling me down with the A/C, whispering sweet directions, giving me signals, indications, and words of motivation. I felt we could drive all around the world, and that we would never use gas again, that our batterie was powered by our romance and not by the alternator. And I knew that those headlights were useless with your blue eyes wide open, looking for dangers in the road.
You were never mine, and never meant to be, I knew all the time. And, unfortunately but for my own good, I must go on, repair my car and keep driving. There are days when I don't want to wear the seatbelt because I am not used to wearing it ever, trusting that in your arms is being in the safest embrace. Although, now, without you, I lost all my safety. So I don't wear the seatbelt, because nothing is worth anymore.
But now I remember I learned to drive where the speed bumps are the highest and toughest, that my mother could park in only one attempt, that my father maneuvers out of danger perfectly, and that my sister learned to drive by herself. So, now, for my own safety, through this dark times, I shall buckle up, for I have many stories to tell, many lives to live, kisses to give; cities to travel around the world to, liquors to get drunk with, and memories to share with my grandchildren.
Today I wear the seatbelt, so I can arrive to my destination, safe and sound... with or without you.
YOU ARE READING
Pendulum
PoetryTo me, Pendulum, my first collection of original poems, was a journey into myself. The pathway to self-discovery, emotional liberation, introspection and empowerment. Most importantly, I learned to understand better the concept of loving oneself.
