How Unfortunate

Can You Repeat That?

Kellin POV:
"you suck Justin" Gabe said as he stood up to get the door. I noticed he was going to get a drink. I jumped up as he walked out and looked down at tony and Jaime sitting on the bed scrolling through random web sites on Tony's bed. tony and mike were playing video games now as me and gabe went down stairs. "following me now Quinn ?" he said and slightly laughed. "you guessed it" I said smiling. "so do you wanna go get food?" I asked. " not really, I'm gonna go beat Justin and tony in that game a few more times. ask vic, he's in the band room" Gabe said after taking a small drink of his water. "um. okay"

    I walked into the living room  and sat on the couch and thought. today was the 3 year mark of the time Vic and I kissed. since then things havent really been the same. he started getting closer to the people opposite of our group. I was still trying to figure out who I was at 14, it was just my birthday and I kind of just wanted to spend my birthday with my friends. I hadnt met jack or gabe yet. me, vic, mike, tony,Jaime, Justin and nick all spent my birthday at vic and mikes house. kind of like today, Vic invited me into his room to watch movies since the other guys wanted to play outside but me and Vic weren't really outside kids. after a part in one of the movies, my hand slipped accidentally grabbing Vic's, now I've always thought Vic was cute, but I never even hinted it. he noticed but only grabbed my hand fully, we looked at each other for a second. we didn't say a word. we just looked at each other waiting for either one of us to do something. he leant it so fast and lightly pecked my lips. for a second it lasted. if I closed my eyes for too long I would have missed it. I had never felt like that before with someone. I wasn't sure what to do next. so I started babbling "I..I'm sorry Vic I didn't mean to.." "its okay kells I mean it was me. I'm sorry I just. I don't know. please don't tell the guys I'm sorry." he said all at once. I got up and ran home. I ran and sat on my bed breathing just as heavy as I was after the kiss. I didn't know how to describe how I felt. or if I liked the kiss. since then me and vic havent been as close. but I missed that, our friendship. he was my best friend and I lost it all because of a peck. a peck that left me curious to how he felt. and how I felt for him. I was now 17, I felt the right to know. Vic needs to explain to me. even if it was nothing I want to hear him tell me that.. I stood up and I could hear the guitar from downstairs. I walked fairly quickly down the stairs to Vic and saw him playing random chords, so he wasn't busy. "hey Vic, whatcha up to?" I asked sitting beside him on the piano chair tony had down here without a piano. "oh nothing kells" he said shrugging his shoulders. I loved when he called me that. "do you want to go get food? I'm kind of hungry and bored " I said "um yeah sure. let me get my keys okay?" I said okay quickly and ran upstairs to the room where the guys were all in the same position to grab my vans and my wallet. when I got back down stairs I saw Vic holding the door smiling. damn, I hate when he looks cute as I'm about to do something that might change a lot. we got in Vic's car, I kind of shuffled in my seat.

  As we drove through town I sat watching Vic drive with one hand. I coughed once or twice. kind of hinting I wanted to talk but not making it seem like I was doing it on purpose. "what is it kells?" he said looking over at me. that name. "oh um its nothing. never mind I'm sorry" I said and looked out the window. damn it what was I doing? "no no, tell me dude" he added. ugh I'm so scared. but I need to talk about It. "ugh. okay, Vic a few years ago on my birthday. we kissed. do you remember that?" I saw him look at me from the corner of his eye "yes kellin, I do" "why?" "well, you looked like you wanted to and I thought you looked really cute. so I did it. " my mouth dropped. not literally. "if you wanted to, why did everything change ?" he looked at me in confusion. "well. you know how I am. I can't particularly let everyone know I'm gay because then everyone will think I'm weak. " my mouth figuratively, dropped even more. he was gay?? what the hell! "Vic what the fuck" I said not entirely realizing what I said. "kells, you know I can't be with you, you know no one can know I'm gay, and you know that the kiss meant nothing" wow.. I felt my heart shattering. "..what?" I said in disbelieve