/ 2 months ago /
"You like KJ." Lili whispered, hating how shaky her voice sounded. It wasn't even a question, it was a statement. She stared at her bestfriend with sadness and pity. She understood. She knew how hard it was to fall in love with someone who was just following the script.
Cami flinched, her expression immediately hardened but Lili still saw through her facade. "Lili." She said sternly, as if the idea was completely ridiculous and absurd. "I'm in a relationship." But it made Lili wonder if she was just trying to convince herself.
Lili frowned. "I know." She said, looking away, almost ashamed for asking. "That's why I asked."
She still looked at Cami directly in the eyes. Cami blinked, and she finally sighed in defeat. "It's normal for us, actors. Sometimes, we find it hard to know what's part of the script and what's real or not." Lili wanted to say, I know. but she kept her mouth shut and didn't interrupt.
"I don't love him– sometimes I think I might but I won't." She shrugged. "Besides..." she trailed off. "Maybe at a certain point I was, but that's when I realized, he too, was in love with someone else."
Lili stood, dumbfounded.
Cami laughed. "It's a pity none of us are fortunate when it comes to love."
"The girl must be lucky," Lili said, not even looking at her, not knowing what else to say. "He's a good guy."
"Not at all." Camila said, tilting her head. "And I'm staring right at her."
XI
The car rode on its own tunnel of darkness. The headlights were a moving circle of light. The night closed behind the car like a door. I pushed my hair from eyes. KJ turned to look at me, and saw me shaking, his expression worried. He didn't ask me if I was alright, which was fine. Because he'd know the answer would be a lie.
But here, in the car, all I wanted to do was break down and tell KJ everything. I knew he felt something was wrong, but he knew I'd cry if he'd ask me. I stared at him and almost smiled. He didn't even think twice when I called him, at an ungodly hour to pick me up, didn't even complain. "I'll be right there." He said, and I believed him.
He kept glancing at me, hesitating for a moment. "You hungry?"
I shook my head at him.
"I challenge you into a no-sleeping game. Challenge accepted?"
It was normal for two of us to accept priceless challenges from one another. "What? Aww, you can't accept that? Loser."
"Seriously?" I rolled my eyes. I looked at him to say Now's not the time for games. "What's up with you being hyper tonight?"
"Oh shut up. I haven't talked to my best friend in a week. I could kiss you right now!"
"Very funny, KJ." I snorted. "Why can't you date someone already? You're smart, you're strong, kind - You're the ideal man every girl would want." I said because it was true.
It was quiet first. "Except you." KJ whispered, making my heart skip a little. His voice was low, making me realize this was the first time I ever heard him speak honestly. "I'm kidding. You know, don't get fooled with what I do. I do very bad things I regret sometimes."