Distasteful Profession

Fly on the wall.

Monday morning was dreadful. The two had gotten into a squabble over the weekend about Sarah. John kept on insisting that he was just a close friend. So, Sherlock stole John's phone and invited Sarah over for dinner on Monday. John saw it and informed her that Sherlock was just going to try to make an ass out of the both of them. She insisted on coming, though. Other than that, Rosie had an ear infection since Saturday morning, making it almost impossible for any of the three to get any sleep. They were running on almost empty. Even Sherlock was running low on energy.

John had Sherlock drop off Rosie as he hailed a cab, to get a nap before work. They met at the precinct and Sherlock tossed him a pair of car keys as he passed the man wearing his pistol in his holster. They both settled into their respective spots.

"Alright, what's the scoop? Why are you two acting like you're going to murder each other?" A girls voice asked from the other DNA Analysts' spot that Sherlock was keeping for himself. He gasped as he brought his hands up to his head, entangling his pale fingers in his curly, chestnut brown hair out of shock."What have you done!?" Was all that everyone else heard Sherlock shout as he walked into the room, no one could see because of the wall, but they could still hear almost everything that they were saying.

She introduced herself as, "Irene Adler, it's my first day on Homicide, Sir," she said. "You used to be in VICE. Working undercover with prostitutes. Honourable Profession..." He mumbled the last sentence under his breath, sarcastically as he rolled his eyes. "And, now, you've made the biggest mess ever and I have to fix it!" He continued to shout. "Mess?" She scoffed, "You could barely have walked in that mess, I cleaned it up. I organized everything. Alphabetized, even." She said, straightening her back with pride.

John heard a lot of noise coming from the office and saw the woman almost physically thrown out of the room. "And, put some clothes on!" Sherlock shouted, "Or  you might as well go back to VICE!" The door slammed.

Irene walked around to her desk. She threw her coat, hat, and on the back of her chair and plopped herself onto the cushion. She brushed a long dark brown strand of hair behind her ear before letting out a troubled sigh.  John looked at her. Sherlock was right, she looked like she belonged in VICE. As cruel as it may have sounded from Sherlock's prick mouth, he was completely correct. 'He was right about a lot of things,' John thought. He sighed as he stood up and made his way to the Forensics office with a stack of paperwork.

Sherlock heard a knock on the door. He whipped himself around and swung the door open. Sherlock quickly pulled John into the office. He pulled him into a passionate kiss. John is definitely taken aback by this as he stumbles forward, sending Sherlock atop the desk, which he happily lied on, wrapping his legs around John's waist. John, breathless, pushed away for a big gulp of air.

"What the hell was that?!" John asked, just dazed. He was amazed. He hadn't known Sherlock was capable of any of that. John's breath instantly hitched as Sherlock rolled his hips against John's, biting his lower lip. "Sherlock, not now, please!" John whispered, "Sherlock, someone will see, please." John insisted. Sherlock, through his gritting teeth, groaned as he threw his head back. "No, Captain,"

'Oh...' John thought as he comprehended and processed everything, 'it's his kink, thing...!' "Sherlock, if you behave, all week, I'll wear my ACU's this weekend." John offered, making Sherlock's head pop up, almost falling off of the desk. "I'll be as assertive as I please," John warned. Sherlock grinned, rolling his hips once more, "Yes, Captain~" he moaned lightly in John's ear.

"So, no more suggestively pulling me into your office, okay?" John said, "Awh! Your shock was adorable, though!" Sherlock whined humorously. He sat up normally and let his feet hang off of the side of the desk, swinging them childishly as John backed up a few steps.

"What was up with the VICE girl?" John asked pointing to the blind-covered window. "Oh, her." Sherlock groaned out of half disgust, half-suppressed anger. "She alphabetized everything pertaining to our case, John. As if she was looking for something. Once I reorganized by dimensions, I realized that one of the 5x7's were gone, but she must've replaced it with an 8.5x11 because it so sticks out, plus, it's a darker shading of white so I know it was her copy, because she smokes. Just look at her nails. She paints over them to hide it, but I got a glimpse of the underneath and they are yellow, with tobacco. The question is: if she already had a copy, why to switch them up?" Sherlock explained. "Brilliant...!" John complimented with a slight blush. Then, he remembered. "Oh! Sherlock," He said, picking up and gathering the stack of paperwork he'd dropped during the sneak snog. "I need you to explain the blood report. I don't really know what all of this means..." John admitted.

Lunch was upon the precinct and with John back near the window, he checked his watch and smiled. He walked into the break room and offered to take Sherlock to lunch, earning glares from their coworkers. John felt very uncomfortable about being 'outed,' last week. Nothing could ever be the same. Sherlock hesitantly agreed. "Where to, Captain?" Sherlock asked, lightly biting his lip. "Behave," John warned. "Yes, yes. I know." Sherlock droned. They walked out of the precinct and out to John's car. John started the car with no problem, which reminded Sherlock. Did he still have HIS keys? Sherlock parred in his pockets to search, but he couldn't find it. He decided to hide the terror in his face and act somewhat normal.

"So, about this ACU deal..." Sherlock started, making John choke on what he was eating. "Y-yeah?" He asked, in between light coughs. "Will you be wearing them all weekend?" Sherlock asked. "Depends on how good you are, and I won't tell you if you won or lost, I won't remind you," John warned, making Sherlock wince. "So, we'll have sex this weekend?" Sherlock asked, ever so casually. John almost spat out his drink. "Now, let's not get ahead of our selves, here...!" John said, lowly, ducking his head in slight embarrassment. "I understand. You need time to adjust with just being in a romantic relationship with a man. Take your time. I don't want you to feel as though I am pressuring you to go faster than you're actually capable. Plus, the case will probably be going into this weekend, so..." Sherlock shrugged.

"Speaking of this weekend. Harry wants me to visit her in Dublin. Sherlock whipped his head up from his papers he brought to investigate. He would only nibble and gnaw on John's chips and John saw it as cute. "Who's Harry?" Sherlock asked, frowning with his eyes narrowed and his furrowed. John gave Sherlock a look. " my drunken gay sister. You have nothing to worry about, Sherlock!" John chuckled. Sherlock let out a breath of relief. John gently slipped his hand onto Sherlock's. "Love, you don't have to be so jealous," He said softly. Sherlock lifted John's hand up to his mouth and gave it a small kiss. "I can't help it."

"So, what do we have?" John asked, leaning over the table to look at the papers. "First, I did some reading up on Ms Irene Adler." He Passes his phone up with a couple of article's for John to skim through as Sherlock explained. "She's still in the prostitution game. She's known as what is called a 'Dominatrix,' her clients call her 'The Woman.' Evidently, she had a huge public scandal with our very own Jim Moriarty. Took the fall for him on a case and was imprisoned for two months before she was bailed out by an anonymous man who warned her to stay away from Jim." Sherlock explained. "Case? You mean, Jim is a Detective, too?" John asked, making Sherlock scoff. "Do you recall when he and I first began talking in the wake Friday?" Sherlock asked, marking something down on the paper on the table. John nodded. "He said he almost blew me up. Do I blow people up, John?" He asked with a smirk on his face. "Well, I hope not," John answered with a chuckle as he stabbed a slice of meat off of the plate. "I am the world's first and only Consulting Detective. While, Jim, he's more of a Consulting criminal." Sherlock explained, swiping the phone for more images for John to read, screenshots Sherlock took just for the occasion.

"So, you're not a blood spatter analyst?" John asked, tilting his head in confusion. "I'm a bit of everything, John," Sherlock said, finally looking up to wink at him. John blushed as he looked back down at the phone.