Random book where I post things

Writing prompt #1

I liked this prompt so I thought I may as well write about it.... Enjoy!

So one day I was just chilling in Hell, doing hellish things when the big man Satan come up to me and says, "Hey what your face, I need a favor. You know that god guy? Ya I need him dead."

"Welp it's not like I'm going to be doing much else with my life, might as well. What do I get from it?"

"I'll give you your soul back, you mortals like those things don't you?"

"Yea boi!! Let's do this thing!"

So Satan just kinda popped me into Heaven and gave me God's address. I looked so flippin out of place here. Everything is white, sparkly, and new while I'm over here with ash for days. Not that I'm complaining. Oh Shit a cops coming, nope nope nope nope nope...

"Hey downworlder! Would you stop for a second so I can check your identification? Not every downworlder is able to walk the streets for free here."

"NOPE," I replied, and just ran. People here were slow as heck because their to lazy to use their wings. I wish I had wings. Wings are cool.

God's house is big as heck. Seriously, you would think a guy mortals worshiped on a daily basis would at least show a little modesty. Nope, everything is gold plated and 10 times bigger than necessary. Even the doorbell, which I had to take multiple attempts at jumping to reach.

"Fee fi fo fum, oh wait. Wrong story. ....Just come in." God himself said to me.

I quickly readied my crossbow when I saw the door knob turning. Just as it swung open I shot the first shot where his head momentarily appeared. I struck home. He clutched his head in agony, his shouting shaking the heavens. Just as I readied the killing blow he took his hands off of his face and said, "Puny mortal. You thought a little thing like that would kill me? God? Ha, nope. You got pranked by my homeboy Satan, sorry to break it to you. Want a cookie?"

I threw myself off of the edge of Heaven straight into the burning pits of Hell, my home.

THE END