i have no idea
what it is
it's currently 11:28pm
i'm sitting on my windowsill
my back is cold against this wall
this is a nightly occurrence
nights when i can't sleep
i'll sit here for hours
dreaming with my eyes
memories like a picture show
i think about being
on the other side of the glass
how i want the icy air
to pinch my skin
and give me some sort of sensation
i think about how pointless
these exercises are
and how i'm doing them anyway
a monotonous cycle
i think about all the friends i have
and don't have
and evaluate just how terrible
my life is
on a scale of happy
to kill myself
that scale rarely tips
the extreme of either side
which is why i'm still here
fortunately or unfortunately
