Partners In Crime [On Hold]

Chapter Eighteen

Not much happened after. My father left for us to settle down and taste the news. My mother kept herself locked in her room, Penny sleeping on her bed. Alexander didn't seem to want another second in his home and left.

All that was once familiar seemed alien to me where I sat on my bed, straight, moving not if it wasn't for the occasional inhale.

My father was no stranger to drugs,I knew that. I never knew the reasons, I never asked. Figured it be pointless. The drugs were of the medicine kind, the one with prescriptions. Legal.

But he did too much, took too much, was gone too long.

But now, now it makes sense. Cancer must hurt. Who knew how long he has been in pain. And what other than drugs can relieve pain than the ones he took?

How long have I known his addiction? A year?

He has had cancer...for a year? How developed is it? I knew cancel was lethal if you didn't treat it.

My father didn't seem as he had. He had only numbed the pain, but not stopped.

Won't he? Doesn't he want it to stop? Is my father perhaps suicidal? What was his thoughts, his reasons, of keeping this a secret for so long?

It was a blur. My eyes watered, but it seemed the tears were unwilling to come. I wasn't shaking any more. Frankly, I wasn't feeling much. I was just very empty, and it was a blur again.

My father is dying.

It was like seeing black and white.

He has cancer.

Yet I see everything.

He doesn't have long.

But I am still blind.

Furiously, shaking inside with the confusion and anger, I stand up, rip a jacket off my drawer and walk out the room. My mother was now in the little dining area, looking at pictures.

I don't greet her. I don't even acknowledge her.

I head straight towards my shoes, pick them up, open the door and then I wait.

My mother says nothing. Do nothing. I am unsure whether she even breaths.

With no other relay, I go out and September for once is kind. He is kind and warm and he calms me with the slight chill that burns down my throat as I start to jog.

And then I run. Soon, I was sprinting down the road. Pushing myself further and further, until the burning I feel inside becomes physical. It starts on the legs, small fires that spread all over my body in a minute. My chest is aching, my legs are hurting, my back is stiff.

And I feel infinite as I stop, staring down the road.

I feel as if I will live forever. With this unexplainable anger, and hurt, and confusion, and emptiness. And so much more that I can't simply express in words alone. But maybe, maybe sounds.

I scream, and I thrash, and I give soundless sobs, but the tears they reject me, they won't come, they won't relieve me this pain.

I take my moment. Knowing I had a bit of change, I start to walk. I keep my face as stabile as possible when I walk into McDonalds. Through all this helplessness, I still craved food. And the though of a cheeseburger made me smile, even though the stretch on my facial skin felt alien.

But there, sitting with a few, was Nove. And Brandon.

Along with Drake.

Though I would've appreciated being alone, I was grateful. I grab the three burgers I had ordered and sat down on Nove's right.