It's Been A Long Year; Since We Last Spoke

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Nick’s POV

Phew. So, How To Succeed rehearsals.

Life has been pretty hectic for me recently.

I have not had any time off…. Well barely anyway.

I was just finishing, considering it was already 5pm.

I said goodbye to everyone and walked out with Michael. He was a great guy to be working with on the show and it’s been fun hanging out with them all.

Things have been so different. I never thought I would see the day where I would be in Broadway. My life has just gotten so… extraordinary. I don’t know what I did to deserve such a great life.

I guess karma has been good to me.

It’s a couple of weeks to the show and I’m really excited.

But I don’t know… I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but it’s like something’s been missing.

I mean, it kind of sucked that I broke up with Delta… but I think it was for the best considering she still was dealing with her ex and I don’t think I could hold a candle to him to be honest. I wouldn’t be surprised if they try and work things out and get back together.

I just wish I could figure why I haven’t been 100% satisfied with my life recently.

How can I possibly be unsatisfied when life has been so good to me?

It puzzles me so….

Michael then zapped me out of my daydreaming, “You alright Nick? You zoned out just then.”

I frowned, not really sure if I was alright. But surely I’m fine?

“Yeah sorry, I was just thinking.”

Michael smiled lightly at me, “No worries. I was just asking if you wanted to catch a Starbucks before you head home. You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“Don’t be silly Michael, I’ll tag along. I could do with a nice caramel frappucino anyway.” Michael beamed at me, “Yay! Have one on me for doing so well today! You’re doing really well in this and you’re going to kill it!”

I chuckled, “Awww no…. I couldn’t have done it without you man. You don’t have to buy me one”

Michael giggled, grinning and telling me to stop it otherwise he’d have to tackle me into a huge hug. “You’re getting one from me whether you like it or not!” I guess I couldn’t argue so I just shrugged my shoulders and gave him a smile.

He was such a great guy. I’d never met someone so enthusiastic about life, he was just like a ray of sunshine all the time that I couldn’t stay in a bad mood around him.

It kind of reminded me of someone…

Oh crap… that’s what’s missing.

I can’t believe it never crossed my mind!

I’ve been so darn stupid…stupid this whole time!

That damn beautiful girl who left my life a year and a half ago.

The one who went into treatment because she broke down.

The gorgeous, amazing girl who left me so I could get on with my life without her.

Demetria Devonne Lovato.

She’s not here with me.

She’s gone.

Well, not dead gone… but out of my life gone.

I bet she’s happy… I hope she’s happy.

I need to see her…

But I can’t.

I can’t go back there.

Not while she’s doing so well.

I read in the magazines and online that’s she doing well. I still follow her on Twitter.

I am really glad that she’s been healthy and happy. I don’t know for sure if she’s truly happy… but if she needs me, she’ll call me. And clearly, she doesn’t need me right now.

But you know what?

I fucking well need her and it is killing me so much.

I mean, it’s not like I’m breaking down without her… but every night she’s been in my dreams, and I know that if I don’t see her soon, I will keep dreaming of her.

I kind of wish she could call me... just so I could hear her voice.

But I can’t see her calling me anytime soon.

It’s so weird that she was once my bestest friend ever, (and yes I know that sounds cliche) to being a somewhat perhaps, close by acquaintance who I never speak to anymore. It’s unbelievable how well I’ve been able to stay sane without her by my side.

I don’t care if she’s still broken, I can fix her. Or at least try to. I want to finish what I tried to start because I can’t not let myself be away from her. But of course, right now, I can’t go near her unless I’ll break her heart. I know because this is what she needs. She needs to forget about the past, and she’s not ready to see me again.

I know her too well.

Once again, Michael brought me back. I must stop getting distracted. “So Nick, how’s everything? Talk to me.”

“Oh erm... fine. Everything’s fine.”

“Really? You don’t seem sure.”

“No really, it’s all good.”

“Well, I can be your older brother if you want. I know you already have 2, but I’m better because we’re not related.” He smiled at me reassuringly.

I chuckled, “Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.”

There was a slight silence when Michael just said out of nowhere, “You’re missing someone... aren’t you? Someone’s distracting you am I right?”

I chuckled again because I was almost speechless. “You secretly a mind reader man? That’s crazy that you got that scarily accurate.”

“Awww I know how it feels. By any chance is it Demi?”

I nodded, feeling all shy all of a sudden.

“Don’t worry Nick, I’m sure things will work out between you. Things happen for a reason, and we can’t change them. I mean you can, but it may just make it worse. So if she needs you, she’ll run to you. Don’t run to her because otherwise you’ll scare her.”

“Thanks Michael, it’s good to hear you say that. I mean, it’s not exactly the best thing I want to hear, but you’re definitely right and I need to be able to let her go for a while.”

He smiled, “I think you need a hug.”

Surprisingly, I did. I really needed a friend, and I was glad I had him.