Diary Of The School Misfit (#wattys2019)

The Day He Held My Hand

**PLEASE DON'T FORGET TO VOTE**

Dear Diary,

Today happened to be the day of my performance and I woke up with my heart in my mouth. I was so scared that it felt like I could faint if I go up the stage. Luckily the performance was last period but I'm not so sure if that was really good fortune because it gave me the whole day to think about how not to screw up.

I've been having Lemuel's help over the week, and I would have almost said we got kind of close except that he treats me like shit again once we're outside the music room. He won't even acknowledge my greetings if we meet anywhere else in the school. But I guess I should be content with the attention and help he's given me in the music room over the week.

I admit; We've spent a lot of time together but not the way I would like. Sadly, we never get any time alone. Since its a choir presentation, most of the other choristers are there rehearsing with me. And if I go during our free periods, it's either his sister is there or that slut Jenny. She's in his class and I hate her. She's using her body to steal my Ebony perfection from me. I wish I had a body like hers, then maybe I'd get more of his attention. Unfortunately, dreams do not always come true. Besides, if he's going to love me, I need him to love me for me. I know it's sappy and cliché but that's just who I am.

The time for our performance finally came and I nearly had a heart attack. I was with Mr. Chi and Lemuel in the music room when the bell went off. Mr. Chi was giving me a pep talk tryna boost my confidence while Lemuel just played the keyboard like we weren't there.

"Remember, you'll do what you think you'll do. If you think you're gonna screw up then you're most likely to but I trust you Ruby. Make me proud." He rounded up and got up to help Lemuel with the keyboard because they needed to carry it downstairs for our performance. I slowly walked behind them because honestly, I wish I could stop time right there and then.

We got downstairs and we assembled with the rest of the choir. We had a short prayer and next thing I knew, we were being called to the stage. At that point, every alarm in my head was going off and I just couldn't head up the stage. The rest of the choir walked past me pushing and shoving but I just still couldn't move. That is, until the familiar and intoxicating scent of black axe hit my brain. I also felt a big envelope of warmth around my hand and somehow, it calmed me. I looked down and it was his hand.

LEMUEL HELD MY HAND! YES! HE REALLY DID!

I was suddenly at peace. "Remember all our practice." I heard. I looked up from our hands and he was giving me this lazy smile. That smile looked like an artwork painted by God himself. *Well it is if you think about it.*

Next thing I knew, we were mobile. Step by step all the way up. I ended up center stage while he kept walking to the keyboard. There was a round of applause and then SILENCE. The moment was interrupted by notes from the keyboard. The notes went on and I could swear I missed my cue. But somewhere; I picked up, like I always did when he played. My eyes were closed through most of the first verse but somewhere right before the chorus I found the courage to open my eyes.

🎵"If I could sound a thousand tongues
It's not enough to sing your praise
Mighty one the great I am
Lord you've been so good to me..."🎵

I could hear my voice shaking but the choir harmonized with me perfectly and I could say I really felt the music and forgot my fears. I turned my head to my right only to see a smiling Lemuel and then he winked at me. I felt my breath hitch and I think I hung in the middle of the song but the choir singing so loudly didn't make it obvious.

We finished the song and were applauded. Even more than I expected. I was so relieved. Not sure if the relief was from not actually fucking up the song or the fact that it was finally over. Either way; I felt relief. We all walked ourselves backstage and I found a grinning Mr. Chi.

"See. I told you you could do it and you did well." He said practically yelling. I could only manage a smile. I was still a little jittery from my stage fright. "It's time for prayers." Caroline yelled. "Practically the whole school has left us hear." We all laughed. We had a short prayer and Mr. Chi commended us all on a job well done. "Good night guys. See you all at next rehearsal." I stood still and watched the door hoping to see when Lemuel exits but I never saw him. I took my bag and decided I'd just go home. The school misfit always has no one to walk her home after all. I walked towards the gate of the school right under the verandah. "Nice job today." It sounded quite like Lemuel's voice but I wasn't so sure so I looked up. I saw no one. I was so confused but just walked out the gate.

And here I am. Home. Tired and relaxing. After homework. Yes I've done my homework even though it's the weekend. I'm just wired like that **shrugs**.

So goodnight diary. ShayShay and I have some gossip to chat bout. I'll write in you later.

Bye.

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Hey guys😍 I wanted to remind y'all to vote and recommend the book to your friends😊. Thank you.

Oh! And ShayShay is one of my best-est childhood friends. Her handle is teymi_deray ....ILY BBG😍❤