My Spy 5: A Southern Girl in Paris

The Story of Us

It was weird to be shown off as Bash's girlfriend knowing everyone was wondering if I was going to be "The One" when we knew we were actually no longer together. Everyone asked me the same questions, where I was from, what my parents did and if I was enjoying England. Bash was a gentleman the entire evening and made sure I was comfortable, never leaving me alone with Willa's friends. If only he could have behaved this way last night. Willa on the other hand glared at me every chance she got and traded snarky comments to her friends as they stared too. I might have been a tart in a fur last night but tonight I am all classy and I don't think any of them are thrilled.

"You're very Grace Kelly," says one of the Crawford's acquaintances and it makes me smile as I remember that is close to what Austin said when he first saw me going out to the fundraiser with Bash. If only I had added long black gloves to go under my diamond bracelets.

Other guests asked if I was going to move to Waterford and I tried my best to stay vague. I dodged questions about marriage and life here at the estate. I heard stories about Bash and his upbringing and we'd smile at each other as guests shared their memories of him. I know I'll remember meeting him at the USO and how wrong my first impression of him was.  Even now, when he's mad at me, he's hiding all emotion and treating me better than I could have imagined. No one here would believe that we ended things, that he has trouble with cocaine, or that I cheated on him in Paris. To them, we are the most beautiful couple in the room with every opportunity ahead of us.

A string quartet starts up in the sitting room and the doors to the library are opened connecting it to the dining room. There isn't a formal dinner so the two hundred guests roam the house as they please. I notice how the women here are modest with their style but deck themselves out in rubies, emeralds, and sapphires. A few women have small jewel-encrusted tiara's in their updo's but I am not forward enough to ask them if they're simply decor or if they are actually connected to royalty.

I look around every room we wander into and am still awestruck by the wealth scattered around everywhere. Between the paintings, knickknacks, and detail in the woodwork, I can't imagine what this home is worth and once again it's hard to imagine being comfortable here.

I grab another Chardonnay off a passing waiter and can hear my momma scolding me already. I am about to reach for an hor d'oeuvre when Bash looks at me and says, "I need to check on something in the kitchen, I'll only be gone a moment." I nod to him and he dashes off with one of the wait staff. When I spin around I see Bridget coming toward me and seeing her down here is jarring.

Once she's steps away from me, she puts my phone into my hands and says, "I was packing you up like you asked but this would not stop ringing. I thought it might be important so I wanted to bring it down to you miss." She dips her head toward me and then dashes off as quickly as she came. I spin my phone around and when hit the home button, I see I have sixteen missed calls. I have one from Momma, thirteen from Austin, one from a number I don't recognize and one from Ryan. I have four voicemails and I look around to go find a quiet place to listen. Something must have happened because Austin is supposed to be in the Bahamas with Margot so he'd have no reason to blow up my phone.

As quickly as I can in my large dress, I make my way toward the bathroom and hide inside. I make sure the door is locked before I hit play on Ryan's voicemail. All I hear is a jumble of noise and what sounds like people shouting. I listen again but I think he only butt-dialed me. I then go to Austin's before I hear what my momma has to say. I hold my breath as I hear Austin's strained voice, "Sawyer, I'm not meaning to bug you, I wasn't even sure I should call but I thought you'd hate me if I didn't. Look, I don't know when you'll get this, I could be on a plane by then but..."I hear him clear his throat and my heart is going to beat me to death if he doesn't tell me why he's calling. "Sawyer, Ryan was shot today during a bust and...he's in surgery now but...it's not looking good. I'm still his emergency contact so I was just informed. I'm on my way to New York now, I don't know what you want to do but...I think we are preparing to say goodbye." His voice catches on the end and tears immediately burst from my eyes. My hand flies to my mouth as I hear him finish, "Call me when you get this. If it rolls to voicemail it means I am on a plane. Don't hate me for calling you, I just thought...Ryan would want you to know." The voicemail ends and suddenly my legs can't hold me up. I grab onto my chest and I can hardly see what time the message was left through my tears. I see he first called me two hours ago and the message was left an hour ago. I try calling him back but it does roll straight to voicemail. I then go to the number I don't recognize and listen to that voicemail. I'm stunned when I hear, "Hi there Sawyer, this is Shelly Hart, Ryan's mama. Austin wanted me to give you a ring and let you know that we are headed to Memorial Hospital right there in New York City. Ryan is in surgery now but once I know where he'll be, I'll let you know so you know where to go. I'm sorry I'll finally meet you this way but..." her voice catches too before she says, "We'll pray for him, Sawyer, but if there is anyone that will give that boy hope it's you." The call ends and I scramble for some tissues to blot my face with. I don't bother listening to my momma's message because I can't handle one more hearing another voice. I quickly pull myself up to my feet and whip the door open. I know I promised Bash I would stay through the party but Ryan might not have that long.