Part 1

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Harsh winds and cold rain like ice on her skin, set over the town. A low rumble of thunder shook the neighbourhood as she took fast steps, eager to reach the warmth and saftey of her home.

Goosebumps raised on the pale skin of her neck as contrasting hot tears rolled down. She could not forget the hint of sourness in his voice that he spit faster than venom. It was like he'd been consumed by the devil yet she could still draw out some sort of bitter sweet honey in his voice for he loved her. And something still drew her to him.

The same questions repeated themselves in her mind. Was it his blazing eyes and intense stare? His strong hands that were once softly laced through her hair?


There are so many things in the world that could bring joy to someone. The little things, a stroll in the park, a steaming cup of tea in the corner of your local coffee shop. But then there's things that bring misery and can still be the best thing to happen to you. Love. So many words, feelings, actions that latch onto this one word.

I never believed in love at first sight. It was all stories and hopeless romantic films. It was never my reality and the more I think about it the more I'm incapable of understanding how it's possible to love someone at the very first sight of them. You don't even know them yet. How could you? You know about the external things. You could love there fashion choice or their choice of literature but you have no idea what goes on inside their heads. What are they like when their world is falling apart? What lengths do they go to to get what they want? And just when you think you know them, in just a heartbeat they will turn into the type of person that you fear most and have you shatter and you realise you will never trust them again. Trust me,  I have seen it time and time again.

Nothing is really real.

It's a mask. Concealing their true selves from the outside world. Fooling everyone around them for their own selfish pleasure. And you can never really love someone as much as you miss them. Why is it that we let ourselves get beat and torn and shredded by love just for the simple pleasures like when they call you baby. And the first time you said you loved me I counted the stars in your eyes. Over time they fell onto my lips, dripping off of them like hunny so your eyes were no longer golden. I remember the day you stopped looking at me like that. And days turned into weeks and weeks into months, blurred like the rainfall of tears on my cheeks. The suns kisses stopped warming our hearts, and even in the same bed, laced in the same sheets, I felt alone. I reached for your hands and they were cold and I couldn't feel you in me anymore. Your eyes no longer held a sea of stars. They were empty, a bruised sky of lost love and broken hearts.


But I'm waiting. I strongly believe there are people, real people who do not lie. Who do not have to blanket their personalitites because they are true to you. They are what we need more of in this world. And I know they're coming. And they will change your life or mine. Turn your world upside down,  make you feel weak in the best way, then build you back up. They will be there to erase the thoughts that terrify you. Replace them with soaring butterflies, blue skies and endless smiles. Maybe they're already here, just open your eyes and see. You might know them already but in time you will really know them. He won't be like anyone else. He will try to build with you, to succeed with you. Maybe he'll fall in love with you....

Like you do at every sight of him. And I've spent too much time bowing down to someone who I thought was the king of my dreams and I fell so deeply in love. But that's the scary thing because they won't be there forever. Even when his soft voice sings in your ear on your rooftop at 2 am you'll never forgive yourself for letting him have such a spell on you when you're crying on your bedroom floor because his smell still lingers on your pillowcase.

Isn't it funny how the saddest birds sing the most beautiful songs?

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