Electric Dreams

Part 6

Harrys POV

Last night I dreamt of her.

I dreamt of her sweet voice. I dreamt about how she liked to trace the outlines of my tattoos. And I would remember how it had my heart racing because even just a slight connection to her made me want to be even more in love with her. This kind of excited me. I always shut myself away from love.

I'm not a good person. I hurt good people. I rip away their happiness to satisfy myself because I like to be in control and sometimes there is only so many ways of going about it.

Eliana. She is a fucking princess. She has the world in her hands. She runs around, dealing with shit on the daily yet she is still the most confident person I have ever met. And she is nothing like me. I destroy while she tries to build. Build us. This relationship if it even is that anymore. But I need her. She makes me want to be good for her.

My sister Gemma, our mum kicked her out a few months back and she showed up on my doorstep one evening soaking wet from the pouring rain begging me to let her in. I had hated her since I was a kid and I would've happily left her standing in the cold, drenched to the bone, but El was there. And I just imagined that it was her standing at my door and my heart sank and I suddenly felt a little remorse.

There was a time when our souls would make love in the skies tears and we would laugh about how the rest of the world didn't matter. Most lonely nights I would wake up with her name like tears, soft, salty upon lips that cry over her absent embrace.

I let her runaway from me. I allowed her to continue to fall apart instead of helping her patch it up. I pulled the plug and shut off the light in her and didn't give it back. And now she's not here.

I tried to think how I could be so mad for she only ever did good for me, as I just repeatedly stabbed at her loving heart and the one time, the only time she made a mistake that I know wasn't her fault, I lost it. I almost threatened to hit her and now I'm sitting on my windowsill twiddling a small pocket knife staring at the small scar peaking out from under my sleeve. I hated everything. I wanted to beat the shit out of the prick for trying to touch my girl.

Elianas POV

Taking a small peak through the blinds, my tired eyes roamed the street below and watched the harsh rain beat down on the pavement. I hated English weather. I hated the month of February. I hated just about everything right now.

I was thankful it was a Saturday though and I could stay in all day.

I dragged my self across the cold wood floor towards the kitchen, hugging my dressing gown closer to me on the way. I put the kettle on and poured myself a bowl of cereal. There was a slight pounding in my head and I could still feel the sadness swirling around in my veins.

I wasn't sure what I was going to do next. My best friend who i've had by my side for 20 years is in love with me and Harry, the man I so dearly wished could've been more understanding, hated my guts. I wanted to call Gemma, I selfishly wanted to know what he was doing, how he was. I feared at times like this that he would disappear into the dangerous world of some bar and hit on a chick whilst consuming excess amounts of alcohol to rid himself of the pain he must be feeling.

But that didn't compare to how my whole world was falling apart at this moment. At this moment, as the sky cried the tears that washed upon the shore of my heart, I felt cold and buried 6 feet underground in the darkness.

My mind drifted to a place, somewhere I didn't feel this way. Maybe my treehouse back in the country aged 7 with my best friend Lili. And my parents wedding. When we were actually a family. I wanted to scream and break glass but hug Harry and feel his strength embrace my fragile frame.

What am I supposed to do now?

The day went by unproductively, pushing my plans to clean and tidy aside and instead buried myself in my bed and watched endless videos on Youtube.

As the evening rolled by and the sky turned a pastel pink and the sun finally peaked through some of the remains of the rainy clouds I sighed and dragged myself out of bed. A few pieces of clothing lay on the floor and some on the chair and I rummaged through them to find a pair of jeans and a black hoodie. I picked my jacket off the back of the door and found my helmet lying on the corridor drawer.

Stepping out, it was a lot cooler than I had hoped but the sound of my rumbling tummy stopped me from turning back to the warmth of my apartment.

Having reached the mall, I wondered through the double automatic doors and headed towards the one place with food that could remedy my sorrow anytime I needed it to. The sweet smell of Chinese food engulfed the whole of the food court and I smiled internally, looking forward to what was only my second meal of the day.

Taking a seat as far away from all these humans as possible, I hungrily attacked the box of food and shoved a whole chopstick full of it in my mouth. I slid back in my chair, taking my time to chew and enjoy the taste of this sweet and sour chicken and noodles.

If only love could be as beautiful as Chinese.

"Excuse me love, is this seat taken?"

Oh no, I recognise that voice.

As my head turned shyly towards the tall frame beside me, I could feel my cheeks burning and in my head I was punching myself for making the decision to let myself out into the open, where of course at any given moment I could bump into someone I knew. And yes, it just had to be him.

"No, Harry, it's not taken"