Electric Dreams

Part 2

A few hours earlier.

"Why do I get the feeling you don't even want anything to do with me?" I frowned as Harry paced back and forth across the cold tiles of the kitchen. There was nothing else that hurt more than seeing him so frustrated, the way he clenched his fists. I know he probably wasn't intending to hit me but for some reason this side of him scared me.

There was no response, he was now leaning against the counter trying to steady his breathing.
"I know you're not a bad person Angel."
He paused and looked up at me and I can't even put in to words the pain I saw in his once mesmerising emerald eyes, now dull, lifeless.
"But how could you? Fuck, why him? Why him? He's a fucking prick and I-" he paused again but this time he inched closer to me. I feared that his shouting would wake his flat mate.
"I thought we had something, and I've been trying to be so good for you." Ouch.

It was the hardest thing, standing there hopeless and soaking in the words that he was spitting me, all of them laced with broken promises and trust. There was nothing left of us really. And it is so easy denying these things, but reality will always hit back harder eventually. So I might as well admit it now. We were nothing and everything.

"Don't do th-" I started.

"Don't do this? Really? I'm sorry should I not be angry at you? I literally want to throw myself off a bridge every time the slightest thought of him caressing you, touching you in places that only belong to me, and worse you spreading your legs for the prick, comes to mind. And just when I thought, things were finally falling into place with you, you do..fuck" His anger was purely evident in his voice. I wanted to throw every excuse I could in his face but when he is in this much rage there is no use he'd never listen.

There was nothing more to say. My mouth had run dry and my cheeks were stinging from all the salt filled tears so I needed to leave. I turned to walk away. I secretly hoped he would stop me. Pull me close and tell me he was still in love with me despite it all. But he didn't and I didn't hesitate. I threw on my jacket, picked up my keys and bike helmet and left without another single word.

I always knew he was sensitive. I knew the moment I got in the car with Luke that I was making a mistake. He was only driving me home and everything after that was way out of control if he'd just believe me. But he was so angry, not just then but all the time. I never knew how to breath around him without him loosing his shit. I'm not perfect and that isn't what I inspire to be but I need my own space. A space where I can live a little and not be so intimidated by his bitter arrogance. I've been feeling so alone lately. He doesn't give me that warmth and safety that I desire. There is no lust. It doesn't exsist anymore. And I had to slowly watch that fade away, into the darkness, a place so deep down where I found myself. And that night, locked away in the safety of my apartment before I disappeared to that party that I begged him to come with me to, it was the last time he told me he loved me and honestly it was like looking into the eyes of a stranger.

Some days I find that the moon still tries to dress us in silks of its shimmering cloth, concealing the reasons to why he loves me just a little bit less and painting the reasons to why we will never be us again onto the places he once kissed to freedom.