Electric Dreams

Part 5

"El I fucking love you"

My head was spinning and a sickening feeling rose.

My best friend, my soul mate, a brotherly figure. It was just wrong.

"Please don't say that Luke"

I loved him so much though but in a family loving way. Luke and I have been around the world together. My family raised thousands of dollars for his brothers company and anything we needed we had each others backs. My mum used to tell me I would marry him someday.

We once kissed in year 3 on Valentines day but god we were so young.

"El you don't understand, the frustration I feel. I have spent my entire life, growing and learning and doing stupid shit with you, of course I fucking hate that I have allowed  myself to fall for you. I would never try to put our friendship on the line!"

He inched closer to me and his hand cupped my face, his thumb catching a tear as it fell.

"I don't, ..."

"Say something Eliana"

"You can't be in love with me Luke. You are my brother. We can't let any of this slip"

Lukes POV

You can't be in love with me.

Of course I couldn't fucking love her. But every inch of me, my heart my head every little bit ached for her happiness. To see her smile light up every dark corner of this miserable world. To hear her laugh ring in my ears, louder, more beautiful than anything else.

And I longed for her desperately. I always felt that way. When you grow up with someone, you get accustomed to their habits and they are always there in your universe. There isn't a day when you don't get at least a glimpse of them in your mind. And I loved everything she did, the way she did it, her view on life, politics, love, everything.

It breaks my heart, whenever she cries into the phone, pouring every bit of her broken heart through the phone to me over Harry. You can give me a million pounds and I still won't give him a drop of my respect. 

But she didn't want  the kind of love that I so desperately wanted to give to her. Not from me she didn't. I don't understand how she could put up with Harry, constantly treading and stamping all over her world and heart. She was the most precious flower in a field of a million. And all he did was tear away all her petals, slowly and painfully one by one, there was almost nothing left of her.

She was so broken and I had to watch her falling apart in my arms.

Elianas POV

He nodded and he rested his chin on my knees, withdrawing his hand from my face.

A hand went to stroke his soft blonde hair but he was already standing, and I watched a sad boy, who wanted nothing but good for the world break in front of me. Memories of him and I, rain in my mouth and laughter in my soul, running bare foot through the summer grass on a wet April evening swirled in my mind. I felt for him, I could physically feel his pain, his sorrow. No one ever tells you how painful it is to love, or what grief tastes like. I think we are both lonely. But he was the closest I felt to freedom, just not in the way he imagined.

Isn't loneliness ironic when millions of aching hearts feel it at the same time?

There are 7 billion people in this world and I wonder how many of them are in love. And is there something for everyone or is that just a misconception? I wonder how many people cry, how many heartbreaks, how many failed relationships that lead to rejection and how many hearts are bleeding into the cold hands of a bathroom sink. Sadness is bitter, it's 3 am sat in the cold grass of a lonely night. Cupping the moonlight in the palm of your hands and holding it tight to your chest because it's the closest thing you have to their beauty.

Having been so lost in thought, I hadn't notice Luke leave. And I hugged my knees, face buried, soaking my trousers with all the tears I cried for my best friend.