Dearest Whomever,

Cheetos

Published on : 2017, 4th DECEMBER

Dear Chezka,

I know that you won't be able to even read this, but I'll just write this on a piece of paper, cowardly saying, "I'm really falling for you."

It was a spur of the moment. It was too fast. I don't know what and how to handle this foreign feeling inside me, which sounded kinda gay. I wished it could've just stopped when I said no, because I hated it.

But I could be wrong. No, scratch that. I was wrong of it. 

I admit. As a guy, I didn't know I'll grew fond of this feeling I had towards you. I thought only girls feel this way. 

I used to like girls ahead of you, but yours is different.

I don't know. But I'm very sure, that you are different.

Different.

You are the embodiment of rarity. 

Being your close friend, I've learned so much about your laudable character. Moreover, I value your honesty. You're so honest that lying seems like a crime. Though your sincerity hits so hard like a speeding train, but that is your best asset--to me.

I've learned to take your criticisms well. I must admit, there were times I was hurt because of your sharp tongue. That is because you speak your mind. You're one smart person--too smart, perhaps. But along the way, I accepted as who you are, wholeheartedly.

You hate the sea. Not because you were afraid of drowning, but you hate swimming with the fishes. You once told me that a fish kissed your toes and you thought it was a sea snake--about to take your life away. Since then, you go for swimming pools instead.

I am attracted to your quirky laughter. It's way too contagious, hands up. And what made it funnier, it's that you let out a loud snore at the end of every laughter. 

You're very unlady-like, but that's what keeps me falling down to my knees.

 Cheetos, the name of a group that consists of 6 crazy friends.

You and I were in it, along with Irene, Paulo, Ryan and Aika. You were the closest to me. And man, how hard it is to lie in front of everyone that I have no feelings for you--especially when there's the spinning the bottle game.

Screw that game.

It's nothing new  that teases about us come and go. I know how irritated you become because not only that none of it is true, you totally hate issues regarding yourself. 

I'm sorry for that.

If only my denials were not too obvious. I could've prevented issues like this from coming.

I started liking you when you handed me a bag of Cheetos Puffs. With your twinkling innocent eyes, you told me it was your favorite. It's not a wonder to me because the puffs suits well with your round chubby cheeks.

I hated it at first, because the puffs keep getting in between my teeth. 

But who would've known, that everything I hated at first, got myself loving it in the end.

 I hated Cheetos Puffs.

I hated the spin-the-bottle game.

 I hated your annoying laugh.

 I hated your painful honesty.

I hated your smile.

I hated your presence.

I hated liking you.

And I can't understand why I now love everything that I used to hate; is all related to you.

Now, I found myself eating a bag of Cheetos Puffs, writing this "coward confession" which I will never have the guts to say to you. 

Damn this.

I can't even make myself confident. I can't even decide whether to tell all of this to you one day. 

Seeing your face makes me want to cherish each and every bit of our time together rather than confessing as I'd hate it if you would walk away from my life; because what gives? You won't even like me anyway, right?

I think I should just keep it to myself, even after our graduation ends.

With or without regrets, I have made my decision.

I really like you, Chezka.

The Mr. Coward Guy,

James