Linked Hearts: Teenage Life - Issue 1

Who We Are

It's who we are, doesn't matter if we've gone too far. Doesn't matter if it's not okay, doesn't matter if it's not our day.

-- Who We Are by Imagine Dragons.

The main problem of teenagers is that we still don't know who we are and who we want to be. We're in the process of creating who we are. The truth is, we never stop molding, but the teenage years is when we solidify the base or foundation of our identity.

This is also why teenagers are labelled angsty (screw you, judgmental people!). We get moody when we feel pointless and confused. The prospect of college and choosing a course is very stressful. In short, we have a deadline of creating ourselves, a deadline that kids don't have.

We have to figure out what we want to with ourselves before it's too late.

At this point, we're being pushed forward and forced to explore the cruel side of life before we meet it in full force. We are exposed to harsh reality, and we have a hard time adjusting to it, which is another factor why we are labelled angsty.

Now there are two problems in this stage. It's either a teenager gets:

1.) Too excited and curious or

2.) Too scared

Addressing the first point, which is much more known to society. Dating as young as thirteen is now very common. Crushes are confused as soulmates, so they ride away together on an imaginary stallion off into a delusional sunset right before an adult drives up in an army truck and smacks them right up the head.

Most of the time, there relationships don't work out. It's because we have no idea what to do and what to expect. I hate to break it you, but:

We aren't ready.

When we're in a mature state, that's when we experience "true" love. We'd know what we would want in a relationship, not just making out (eww) and holding hands. We'd know what we're supposed to do. College age is preferable, but younger than that is slippery ground.

Most of you might not believe me. It's either you'd say that it would last forever, or that you aren't looking for anything serious.

If you aren't looking for anything serious, you might get more than what you've bargained for. You might really fall in love. Then you won't know how to handle it, and you'd break each other's hearts because of confusion and fear. Of course, you would do anything in your power to keep your relationship alive, but most of the time it would die. No worries, you'll find true love when the time is right.

If you think it'd last forever, think again. Getting married means becoming a team. Not just any team, but a da bomb team.

You'll have children, and you have to figure out how to raise them properly and not ruin their lives. You'll get expenses so high it's a miracle it didn't shoot past your dingy old roof yet. You'll face a backbreaking job that might not pay you as much as you deserve. You'll face people so cruel they'll shake your belief on everything you think is right. You'll argue and blame your partner over who did it wrong and what to do with the problem.

Look at the guy you're "in love" with and imagine if you could live a realistic married life with him. If you scream an, "omg yes!" then congratulations! You just lost my hope for you, and I will be climbing out of your computer screen with an army of psychologists right behind me.

Slow down and let things develop the way it should be. Don't follow a dream that would just lead you off a cliff. Nature will take its natural course, and before you know it you will miss the times when you were just a teenager. You'll regret not treasuring these moments while they lasted.

Also, don't be headstrong! Follow and listen to what your parents advise. At this point, they've seen what's there to see and they'd make sure you won't make the same mistakes they did. If life were a game, then your parents would be your game guide.

As for the second point, when you're too scared, don't be. Face whatever is thrown at you. You don't have to fight with a stubborn jaw and a clenched fist.

You're probably afraid of making mistakes. You want a clean reputation. Aside from learning from your mistakes and all that preachy junk, mistakes are proof that you are human.

Everyone has an embarrassing mistake they want to bury. Be ashamed of your mistakes, but never be ashamed of yourself. Accept your mistake, embrace it and be honest about it when someone asks. Every lie you make to cover it up will be an extra ton on your already heavy heart.

So, how do we stop feeling embarrassed every time we look in the mirror?

Make an imaginary friend named Vernon (hi!). Okay, give Vernon a body to possess (heck yes) by providing a doll, a picture, a drawing, a stuffed doll or anything!

Okay, here's the deal: Vernon is embarrassed because Vernon screwed up (no gender pronouns for you!) and now Vernon needs you for comfort. What would you say to your sad friend? Sing Vernon a comforting song, make an inspiring speech, anything! You'll realize that after your feelings jam, you'll feel much better.

This is being tested and proven right now. I messed up pretty badly and I'm still embarrassed about it, but the feeling of helping someone out of their shame helps me too. The fact that someone needs me makes me forget about my own needs. It's effective for me, and I hope it does for you too.