Sam Winchester (and occasionally others) x Reader

Bad At Love (Sam)

Fic for contest.
Angst. Brief mentions of drugs, but otherwise just sadness.
http://impalaimagining.tumblr.com/post/167711409333/sing-it-supernatural-challenge

All the lyrics used are bolded.

A year and a half in the making. Never before have you had the chance at love like you had now. He is so caring and sweet, it certainly isn't his fault. It always seems whenever something good happens in your life fate decides to drop an anvil on it, especially relationship wise. So in an attempt to save yourself from heartbreak, you decide to put a bit of distance between you and Sam. It's for the best after all.

The door to the bunker creeps open with a loud squeak, the volume being beaten out only by the elephant herd of footsteps that accompanied you and the boys. You are down first, keeping Dean as a buffer zone between you and your boyfriend. You had started to feel his annoyance earlier that day, but elected to ignore it for the time being.

"So glad to be back." Dean sighs as he throws his bag into an unoccupied chair.

"Yea, it's nice to be home." You try to smile and hide the hairs standing on the back of your neck. You know Sam is eyeing you, he knows something is wrong. "I'm gonna head to my room and get this stuff put away."

Dean waves you off as he goes to grab a drink, Sam hot on your tail as soon as the older Winchester is gone. "Hey (y/n)?" He asks as he sets a hand on your shoulder.

You don't turn to look at him because you don't want to see the pain in his eyes. You have been avoiding him for weeks and you know how much that has to be hurting him, though it's hurting you just as much if not more. Your heart breaks just feeling the way his fingers are pressed into your shoulder. You can feel how much he cares mixed with the fear you might panic and run.

"Not now, Sam." You say, trying to hide the sadness in your voice.

He is silent for a moment before sliding past you and standing in front of you. "What is going on with you? You've been pushing me away for weeks, avoiding me like the plague. You know I'm here for you (y/n)."

Your resolve crumbled as tears began to fall from your cheeks. You tried to smile and wipe it away, but his arms wrapping around you finally broke the dam. You missed his strong arms around you, the smell of old leather that often accompanied him, the warmth emanating from him, and the sweet sound of his voice. This moment made you realize how stupid your plan was. There was no way you could not love this giant puppy hugging you.

"(Y/n). What on Earth is going on? Did I do something-"

"No, you did nothing wrong. You are amazing and sweet and caring and funny and perfect." You interrupted him before he could say it. You could never let him feel guilty for your choice.

"Then what is it babe?" He asks, pulling away just enough for you to look up at him. Then you could see it, that dreaded hurt puppy face. You have never been able to say no to it.

"It's not you I swear." You smile, trying to make him feel better.

"I get that, but this is obviously bothering you." He frowns, obviously not accepting your attempts to bypass the conversation.

You rest your head against his chest with a groan "It's for the best." you whisper, more to yourself than to him.

He pulls away for a second to look at you, his eyes full of sorrow. "(y/n), are you breaking up with me?"

You quickly shake your head and step away. "I, I don't know..." you clutch your head and curl in on yourself as tears streamed down your cheeks. "I'm sorry, Sam." you quickly grab your bag and run down the hall to hide in your room, the door slamming loudly behind you.