Hypocrite

Drowning in his Tears

They say "curiosity killed the cat" and in a way...that's 100% true, but....would I want to live in a world where the only keeping me from pursuing the power and knowledge of the world is my own gut wrenching fear.

How pathetic would I be then?

Will my own apprehension keep me from following the path I'm supposed to lead?
Why am I ok with that?

Why am I ok with forgetting about what I saw and never laying my eyes on Deku again, I could push down every fiber of longing and never cross paths with him ever again.

Have I gone soft? Am I really that petty? Or can I push my inadequacy aside and pursue the man I love?

The last option sounds the most appealing to me.
I sigh and lay my head back on the tree I'm currently resting on.

After class I walked down the same way I always do to get home but this time I stopped at my old elementary school and I soon found myself relaxing under that old sycamore tree that's featured in my dreams/nightmares every night.
A soft breeze blows through my golden hair, the suns rays reflect off my pale legs, warming me, as if to thaw the cold ice blocking my heart from the world.

What a thought...as if I would get that kind of sympathy from one such as Mother Nature after the pain I've forced on to those around me.

I close my eyes and grab my hand, pretending that it's my Deku's hands holding mine in his soft embrace, but my hands are too rough and calloused from years of using my quirk, they aren't like his which feel like smooth silk and hand woven pongee.

Deku always had soft hands that would always put me straight to sleep when he threaded them in my hair or when he would wipe the tears from my face after an especially rough day.

He was my rock, he was the one who always encouraged me but he was there when I needed him or when I managed to hurt myself.
I love him...so fucking much.....

A salty tear slips down my cheek as a wretched sob rips through me.

"I fucked everything up...I'm so stupid" tears drop to the ground below me and soak the dry dirt and as if to mock me the sun disappears behind a wall of dark stormy clouds and they break, releasing buckets of water on to my shaking figure.

"Fuck it all."
It seems as if even the heavens are after me, trying to make the already dreadful life I lead even more miserable.

I wipe my nose, getting rid of the snot as I curl into a ball. Wrapping my arms around my knees and hiding my disgraceful face from the world.

I stay like that for a few minutes, letting the rain soak my clothes and hoping the water would swallow me up and drag me under, relieving me from the horrors I live through every day and every night in my dreams.

I'm startled a loud thud next to me.
I look and see a backpack on the soaking wet ground next to a pair of muddy red boots.

"K-Kacchan?"

Oooooh....I wonder who this could be????

Anyway I hope you enjoyed and if you did....please vote so I know I'm doing this right 👍

Thank you and have a good thanksgiving!!!