Hypocrite

Noah returns

Yes...this chapter is late...I know. 😖

Am I irresponsible? Yes.
Do I really need a better schedule for myself? Yes.
Should I probably stop being lazy? Yes.

Hope you guys enjoy though and I recommend listening to that song up there while your reading this because it gets real sad and that song makes it 10x betta! 😛

The world is unfair to me.
Why must everything go wrong for me?

It was only a few short minutes of peace when I arrived to the club before Noah made his presence known to me while I was in my changing room with frantic knocking at my door.

I can already tell it's Noah. My skin is crawling as my stomach turns sick. My body reacts violently to his presence.
How dare he show up here? Kacchan isn't here and I'm alone with that man who attacked me.

"Please open...I want to apologize for everything I've done..."

He sounds guilty . His voice raspy and strained and I can't help but to let a part of me mourn at his weak voice. My empathy taking over as my resolve to avoid him starts to crumble and my regret starts to rear its ugly head in my consciousness.

"I-I-I have n-no excuse for my actions...but PLEASE give me another chance." His voice cracks at the end and I can hear the slight wavering of regret in his deep voice. He no longer sounds smooth and confident like he did when we first met...he sounds so sad and broken.

My throat constricts. My body feels like it's trying to choke itself. It's so hard to breathe and I just want to fade away.

This man who I trusted, hurt me...he broke not only my trust, but my heart. I believed in him...I only wanted someone to listen to me...a real friend who I can talk to about my problems and someone to respond with respect...Is that too much to ask for?

I hear a wretched sob from behind the door. The sound sends a dagger of guilt through my heart.

"You hurt me..." I say simply. I curse myself for replying to him. I'm supposed to ignore him but I don't know if it's anger or guilt but I can't keep up this facade.

"I can't ever apologize enough...I'm a fucking monster...worthless...not even a mother could love me." My heart breaks at his words...oh how many times I thought I was worthless after kacchan would hurt me.

Why am I letting kacchan make me vulnerable again and Why am I pitying the man who tried to have his way with me?

Am I just so screwed up beyond repair? When did all this start? It seems like one day I was devoted to the man I loved and blissfully taking in the sweet taste of love...then I was thrown out by him...hurt by him...but I still love him.

I fall to the floor and lay my head against the wall as a warm tear slides down my cheeks.
My chest tightens even more and the tension seems like it's trying to kill me. I reach over and grab my shirt above my chest. The fabric wrinkles around my fingers as my mind races a mile a minute.

"P-please g-go away n-Noah... I can't think right n-now." I gain my composure and quickly wipe the tears from my face, sniffling and trying to regain control of my shaky breathing.

I don't hear any reply from him and when I open my door again he's gone. I look down and there's a rose laying on the floor with a cream colored paper.
I frown and pick up the rose followed by the note.

It reads: 'sorry...guess I'm just a hopeless romantic after all...I'm sorry for making you hurt but please text me if you ever need a friend and I promise to be there.

Please don't cry anymore.'

I tighten my hold on the paper as I begin to shake slightly, a dark shadow sets on my features. I'm so fucking tired of hurting.

I look up to see kacchan give me a concerned look.
"Are you ok, Deku?" He grabs my arm and pulls me into his chest to hold me close to him.

What if the source of all my hurt is the same thing that gives me comfort?
What then?

Wow...that was very dramatic...

I actually like this chapter. It really shows how Deku suffered from all of katsuki's bullying for all those years. Every time I would watch MHA I keep thinking that if the man I loved since I was a child started to bully me then I wouldn't be completely "healthy" unless it's a facade...so I decided to add that in this humble little fic. Hope it's not too much 🙃😘  Btw the drama isn't gonna get much worse than this...I'm not gonna make Deku some crazy yandere.