Unkept Promises // Brolby

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Chapter 3

Breathe Me by Sia

    I've felt this feeling before. It's a warm, almost comfortable feeling. It makes you want to snuggle up close to it and take it in, sigh in the content it brought to you. But sadly, it's terrifying. It makes you want to back away and scream for it to leave. The feeling creeps up your legs and trails up your spine, making your heart race faster and your lungs grow numb. You forget how to function, walking and breathing become a difficult task. All you can do is focus on that one feeling. That all too familiar feeling.

    It needs to leave.

    I wake up in cold sweat, but I don't know why. Nothing was scary or remotely embarrassing. All there was, was green. But I felt an odd sense of comfort in this green. This green was like nature, the sound of birds chirping and a wind softly blowing. The temperature just right where it's not hot enough to wear shorts but it's not cold enough to wear thick clothing. The smell of pine and the noise of animals roaming in the forest filled my senses. I closed my eyes wanting to feel that sense again, but nevertheless, fear crept in.

    Who was I thinking of? Who provoked these thoughts of green, these thoughts of pureness? My stomach tied itself in knots, butterflies beat their wings gently making me feel giddy. I smiled. But it went away as quickly as it came. I frowned.

    I sit up in my bed and rub my face, groaning. The events from last night taking a toll on my morning attitude. I slowly but jerkily got up, throwing on a pair of black shorts and a blue hoodie. I yawned and stretched, letting out a satisfying sigh at the feeling and sound of bones popping and cracking.

    I grab my phone and headphones before making my way out of my room, shutting and locking the door, hiding the key behind my "Proceed With Kindness" sign. I have to be cautious around the house with all these pranks going around. Never know if my room could end up like Pink Circa. I shudder.

    As I make my way down the stairs, I hear several voices coming from the gaming room right next to the kitchen. I recognize all but one. It sounded kind of familiar but not quite. I furrow my eyebrows as I slow down my pace and keep my eyes peeled for the mysterious person in the house. I looked a mess, but I could almost care less.

    As I made my way into the kitchen, I saw Corey digging in the fridge. He looked up from his rummaging and smiled, "Hey, Colby. You feeling any better?" He asked. I gave him a confused look then remembered my incident of throwing up last night.

    "Oh, yeah! I feel better. Took medicine and slept. Worked like a charm." I said as I grabbed a water bottle, opening it and downing half the bottle. "What 'bout you? Feeling good?" I asked after I swallowed the cooling liquid.

    "Yeah, don't remember much though, but I feel better. I'm just trying to forget last night." Corey said and I nodded in agreement. Silence took over us, the only sound being muffled voices from the gaming room and the living room. Corey cleared his throat. "We're playing video games in there if you want to join?" He asked.

"We're?" I asked in confusion.

"Yeah! It's me, Elton, Sam, and Brennen."

My body froze. He was still here? Suddenly I remembered, he stayed the night since we got home so late. I shuffled on my feet and played with my fingers, a sense of Anxiety filled my chest as I glanced into the room to catch a glimpse of the male model. "I-I don't know.. I think I'm gonna go back to my room. Think of ideas for a video." I stumbled over an excuse, silently cursing myself for the stutter.

Corey raised an eyebrow then gave a small laugh. "You seem nervous. You okay?" He asked. Shit. What if he's caught on? What if he knows I like guys? My heart rate picked up and I suddenly couldn't move. My eyes grew wide. It was hard to breathe. Calm down, Colby. Calm down. Tears formed in my eyes and I had no control.

Next thing I knew, I was laying on the couch in the bar room. A few fans were pointed at me and my jacket was under my head. I groaned and shivered. My head was pounding and the room was way too cold. As I slowly sat up I hear someone yell something, but it was slightly muffled. I blinked my eyes a few times, looking around only to see four people filling into the room. Their expressions were the same, worried and concerned. I recognized them as Sam, Corey, Elton, and Aaron. The one that called them in must've been Devyn.

"-lby, Colby? Can you hear me?" Sam talked softly and I nodded, holding onto my head.

"What happened?" I asked, not remembering anything. I grabbed my hoodie ready to put it back on but Sam took it from me. I gave him a confused look.

"Your still heating up. From what Corey told us, you passed out after he mentioned hanging out." Sam said. And suddenly I remembered. I froze again.

"O-Oh." I mumbled. I looked around expecting to see everyone that lives in the house, but I didn't see Devyn. Instead I saw Brennen sitting beside me. He must've been the one to call them in. I looked back down quickly, wrapping my arms around myself nonchalantly. I felt uncomfortable and self conscious at all the stares. Especially those.. green... eyes...

I blushed fiercely once I realized who my dream was about. Quickly, I got up not caring at how dizzy I made myself. Grabbing my hoodie, I ran upstairs. I didn't care to listen to their yells telling me to stay put. I wanted away.

I felt embarrassed. I could hear someone following me but I was quick enough to shut and lock my door, the door knob turning just milli-seconds after me locking it. I breathed heavily, my thoughts ran wild.

I threw my hoodie at my wall and gripped my hair in my hands. Why did I have to be so obvious? Corey probably knew. Sam already knew. They all might think I'm crazy.. oh god, Brennen. He might think I'm crazy. For fucks sake.

Angry tears rolled down my cheeks as my anxiety sky-rockets. I couldn't hear the gentle knocks and pleas to open the door. All my thoughts silenced the outside world and I was alone.

Why am I like this?

"The best use of imagination is creativity. The worst use of imagination is anxiety." -Deepak Chopra