N E V E R • XXXTentacion/Jahseh Onfroy

N E V E R • Part one

    I sat there listening to my low muffled cries. Curled up in the small ball that i laid myself in, shaking with each hallow breath i took.
    I felt so weak. So numb. Nothing but a numb sadness to take the place of my heart. Hell, that numbing sadness was all that was left of my heart anyways.
    My mom would be wondering where i am but i didnt care. I stayed. And i cried. And thats how i met him.
    I could hear footsteps approaching me through my low squeaky sobs. Please be death approaching me. I thought to myself.
    "Are you okay? What are you doing out here all alone?" A voice asked me. It seemed genuine, raspy but not deep. It was a nice voice...
    Slowly i sat up and brought my eyes up to whomever was speaking to me. It was a man, young. He was covered in tattoos but I mainly focused on the ones on his face. Alone. Numb. 17. He had dreads. Half of his head was blonde while the other remained black. His eyes seemed dull but genuine and weary.
    I looked him up and down, taking in his figure. He was skinny, and tall. There really wasn't much else to it except that he was dressed in some skinny jeans and wore a black baggy sweatshirt.
    "I-I'm fine." I said cautiously, dusting myself off. "Are you sure? Its late and you're in the middle of an abandoned apartment complex staircase crying by yourself." He smirked.
    I felt unsafe. Hugging myself i stood up and backed away, drying my tears. But I couldn't help but wonder why he was in this abandoned building himself. Out of curiosity i decided to ask.
    "If its abandoned then why are you here?" I questioned him.
    "I could ask you the same thing." He replied flatly. He kept on a straight face the entire time, making me slightly uncomfortable.
    "I used to live here. Until it got sold and everyone was forced to move since its being turned into a starbucks." I answered, chuckling slightly.
    "I'm sorry about that." He spoke flatly, seemingly bored. "Is that why you were up here alone crying?" He added on, but in a much softer tone this time.
    No. Not even close. I thought to myself, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath in. I don't even know him though, why would i confide in him like this? Jeez he can be a serial killer or a rapist for all i know i shouldn't be telling him my entire life story.
    "Yeah, it was." I lied.
    He scoffed and rolled his eyes.
    Even if it was a stupid reason that was rude and I won't lie it hurt my feelings and brought a few tears to my eyes, i refused to let them fall though.
    "Don't you have a home to get to?" He huffed impatiently.
    "Don't you??" I replied, giving off the same attitude and tone as him. Two can play it that way.
    "Look. Just leave, okay? You're getting on my last nerve." He gritted through his teeth. His once dull, genuine weary eyes turned into ones full of rage and impatience.
    I scoffed and gathered my things, muttering insults under my breath.
    I began to walk dowm the stairs, ready to go home. "Wait." He called out.
    I turned around and faced him with a questioning look.
    "What's your name?" He asked softly.
    "Okay so first, you're nice to me, then you're rude, then you practically kick me out of my spot and now you want my name?? Well you're not getting it." I barked at him, angry at his sudden change.
    He seemed a bit taken aback, but not hurt. "You dont have to give me your real name. Just something to call you." He shrugged.
    "What makes you think you're even gonna see me again??" I pressed on.
    He smirked. "Believe me. I will."
    That comment made me a bit uncomfortable but I decided to go along with it, even if he is a potiential murderer or rapist. Stupid of me but i stopped caring about a lot of things a long time ago.
    Thinking for a moment i answred. "You can call me.. Sorrow." I stared into his dark eyes.
    "You can call me X..." he replied, keeping his eyes on me.
    As i turned to go again he questioned "Why sorrow? Is it your real name?"
    "No, it isn't. Its just something i feel all the time." I answered, without facing him. I continued to trot down the steps and start my route home.

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This was short i know but.. I dont really have this book planned out i just write as i go. As a distraction to some things in my life.

Heres a photo of our husband, i hope you at least sorta enjoyed this first chapter! It'll get better i promise.