So a lion and a snake are high as fuck...

4

"Harry? HARRY?" Shouts Ron from across the locker room.

"Pos que quieres pinche puto?" Harry walks towards Ron, topless and for once sober. Ron is sitting on a bench waiting for the team to be called, he stares at Harry's abdomen for a tiny bit too long. But to his defense so do most people. 

"You know I can't understand your muggle languages."

"It's fucking Spanish."

"Yeah whatever, anyway, what am I going to do? I'm extremely nervous. I know I'll fuck it up somehow."

"Uh I mean, I have some pot stuffed in my robes. Maybe that'll calm your nerves?"

"Harry I'm the worst player on the team without drugs, I should at least be sober."

"Well being high certainly won't make you worse," Harry mutters.

"HEY"

"Okay, okay. How about I go missing, and then the game will have to be stopped right? Can't play without a seeker. In fact I just realized that we should probably have backups for these situations..."

"Harry but then we'll have to forfeit and that means losing."

"...not if the other team forfeits as well."

"What are you bloodydamn getting at?"

"Aren't we playing Slytherin?" said Harry jumping from foot to foot.

"Yeah?" 

"Leave it to me son." Harry bolts out of the locker room. (Still topless, mind you.)

______________________________________________________________________

"Guys I think I'll have to go back to the dungeons real quick, I left my robes there." Said Draco, frantically searching his locker.

"Why the fuck would you do that?" Shouted the captain.

"I didn't do it on purpose!"

"Well hurry up, the game starts in 20 minutes."

"I'll be back in 5 tops."

"uh huh."

Draco stepped into the hallway, only to be greeted by the sight of a half-naked Gryffindor running towards him. 

"Hey hey hey! If it isn't my favorite Slythercunt."

"Please don't call me that." Draco responded with great distain. He took noticed on how much closer Harry was standing next to him than usual, and how his bare chest had the smallest bit of sweat on it. (Authors note: HAH GAY)

"Sure, if you can uh, do me a favor." Harry stepped even closer.

"Which is...." Draco took a step back, closer to the wall behind him.

"I just need to, how do you say it, get rid of some nerves." Even closer now,  although Harry is shorter he can be quite intimidating.

"What are you getting at? Look I need to go get something for the game. If you want to let go of some nerves go smoke a blunt or something--" Draco was promptly shut up by Harry grabbing him by the biceps and pinning him against the wall, Harry leaned in towards Draco's ear and breathe, 

"Look, normally you're extremely hot when you have your mouth open but right now I'm going to ask that you shut the fuck up okay?"

Harry leaned back and stared Draco right in the eyes.

"Follow me." Harry bolted, holding Draco's hand and leading him outside onto the field and under the bleachers. 

"Harry what the fuck is going on?"

"Shhhhhh" Harry crawled towards Draco, putting one leg in-between his and grabbing his face. Kissing him under the bleachers as Madam Hooch called the game to began. 

"Harry-" kiss "the game-" kiss "Is starting." kiss.

"I know," kiss, "and I don't care." The kissing became hotter and faster before Draco pushed Harry off him upon hearing shouts from the field. They both were out of breath and red in the face, mild boners all around.

"Harry James Potter are you fucking high right now?"

"No, but I will be in a sec." He pulls out a blunt from his pant pockets. "Hey how did you know my middle name."

Draco blushed. "Unimportant, why are you doing this?"

Harry took a long drag, staring Draco in the eyes for what seemed like an eternity. Inetably handing it to Draco, "I don't know, I just wanted some time with my smoke bud."

"That wasn't 'some time' that was an attack on my straightness." Draco accepted the drug.

"What straightness"

"I'm not going to argue that."

silence for a couple of minutes as thoughts are being processed.

"I didn't know you were such a good kisser, Malfoy."

"I always knew you were a pussy." 

"Whatever!" Harry chuckles, "I try to compliment you once I swear. You can never win with a Slytherin now can you."

more silence

"ireallylikeyourabs." Draco mumbled quickly.

"What?"

"NOTHING."

Harry heard Draco the first time, he just wanted him to say it again.

(Authors note:  I want to end it here but the point of this chapter was to write Dumblefuck smoking with these two so the next chapter will be directly after this with Dumblefuck joining.)

PUBLISHING THIS WITHOUT REREADING FOR TYPOS BECAUSE FUCK YOU