Thoughts from the Sheltered and Clueless!

May 19, 2014

May 19, 2014

So the other day, I was babysitting my little sister Lilly, when she had to go potty. (Yes that's how I say it. Don't judge me! Small person language is very influential!) When I stuck her on the toilet, she said, "Aiden, it's gonna stink!" which basically means, "Go away, I have to poop!" So I left. When I returned, this is the conversation that ensued.

Lilly: Aiden, I need you to check if my brain is done and if it's there. I need you to check if it's there when you wipe me in the toilet.

Me: You need me to check in the toilet if your brain is there?

Lilly: Yes.

Me: Wait, you mean your brain fell out of your head and into the toilet?

Lilly: Yes.

Me: So you pooped your brains out?

Lilly: Yes.

Don't you just love little kids and how they take things literally?

 Fun fact! A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find a mate.

We all love posters! Especially 1D posters! I would bet my left sock that all of you have at least one poster of our five favorite boys hanging up on their bedroom walls, where you hang out all the time. It's great! When you get bored with homework, you can gaze at them. They're the first thing you see when you wake up, and the last thing you see before you go to bed at night. They watch you while you change!

Do you ever notice how any facial expression the boys use for a poster ends up being a perfect I'm-watching-you-change expression? It's like they knew girls would hang them up in their rooms, so they made those faces on purpose. I have a couple posters myself, except I hid them under a pile of paper on my desk so they couldn't watch me.

I can't change in my cousins' room anymore. The 1D posters stare at me. I try moving to different parts of the room, but their eyes follow me.

Their room is covered in posters. Like you can't even see any wall space anymore. Everywhere you look there's a Liam or Niall staring at you. It's a nightmare. I even tried to hide from their gaze in a closet, but I found a Louis poster in there. (fitting isn't it? Louis in the closet? Because he's gay and hasn't come out yet? Yeah? God I really shouldn't try to explain my jokes. It ruins them!)

My cousins love getting changed in front of the posters though. They give the boys a strip tease, with sexy music and everything!

Mmm Harry! You like that? Zayn look at my underwear! Let me shake my butt for you! Oh yeah!

...Talk dirty to me! Ba-da-da-da-na-na-na-na-na ba-da-na-na-na-na-na

A recommendation! The 'Sailor Moon' series. I was completely obsessed with them when I was younger. I just rediscovered them recently and the obsession has returned full force! You just might have a little trouble finding the books. They aren't being printed anymore, and people have an annoying habit of stealing them from the libraries.

Whenever I'm out, I'll pull my iPod out of my pocket, check if there's Wi-Fi, see there are no available connections, and put it back in my pocket. A little while later, I do the same thing again. This repeats basically every five minutes. I guess maybe I'm thinking something will appear if I look one more time, even though I've already checked ten times.

What's worse than no connections being available, is when there are some networks there, but they're locked. I hate that!

The worst thing of all though, is when there is an unlocked network available, so I click on it and wait for it to load... slowly... very slowly... with my fingers crossed... so slowly... HURRY UP AND LOAD!... COME ON!

Finally a notification pops up:

Unable to join network SLOW.

I hate it! But that's not the worst of it, no. Underneath the notification is a button that says, okay.

Okay? OKAY?! NO NO! NOT OKAY! CONECT ME TO THE FREAKIN' WI-FI DAMNIT!!!! Where's the 'Screw you' button, that's what I want to know. That's the option I want. A 'Screw you jerk-head' button. Who's with me on this one?

Hmm. That was rather aggressive. Maybe I have anger issues.

Comment #1Dposters and tell me how many posters you have.

Have a good week! Love you!

-Aiden <(^-^)>