Sardonic Humanism

Dream

I dreamt of him last night yet again. It seemed like that was the only way I could fall asleep anymore. Thinking of his hickory brown eyes and broad shoulders made my head pound every minute he was away. I didn't love him, although I still wasn't all that positive what love felt like. Not love, this was just a temporary moment of charming boy likes freak girl. Just a phase.

This dream was different, more sinister. It started with me, alone at Parkers Bowling Alley. When I was younger, 8 maybe 9, my dad would take me here to play while he sat at the bar woeing the women around him. I acted oblivious of my father's doings. As full as Parker's always was, it was completely empty, no staff. The only lights that were on was the main deck's, where the front desk and food were. I stayed silent, not feeling the need to speak during that time. What felt like seconds of agonizing loneliness locked in the red tinted asylum of Parker's, from within the dark Seven crept out mumbling incoherent sentences; this was the first time I felt scared to bd alone with Seven. Seven continued to walk slowly, his eyes unmistakably dark. His mumbling stopped for minutes then he began again, louder. "Seven, what are you saying?" I was purely curious. The silent grew after my question and Seven sprinted to me grabbing my shoulders, "You killed him," he screamed repeatedly. Through his screams, Parker's doubled doors shot open. A person dressed in a blue hospital gown
pushed a gurney with another nurse like woman on top of a male. The three of them past Seven and I into what was now the ER of a hospital. I'm killing who? The woman on top of the man hopped off and gathered an IV cord attached to a bag of water hooked to a thin metal pole. From back in Parker's, two more people, male and female, entered. The woman rushed to where Seven and I stood and the man leaned against the wall near the doors. I recognized them both. They were my parents before my dad had died. "Mom?" I gaped at her while she cried silently. "You're killing him" she screamed along side Seven. I peered of towards my dead father and ran to his side. Unlike the others he didn't speak, his hallow eyes stared into my own. I rushed back to the opposite side of the bowling alley which the hospital replaced and looked at the body. "Simon".

Dreams meant nothing, it's not like they come true. Simon had only been gone a week, in that week anything could have happened and I would never know what. My fears for Simon were just getting the best of me but I couldn't help let them overcome my thoughts. School. I hopped out of my miniature Toyota Camry and lightly shut the door behind me. Wintercrest High's pavement was jagged and unbearably hard to drive on without good tires let alone walking to the schools doors without tripping on a few loose pieces of road. I sluggishly climbed the few stairs to the massive doubled door entrance opened one of them. Compared to the outside coolness of the air, the inside of Wintercrest felt warm enough, so I took my jacket off. The five minute bell rang just as I slipped off my black jacket and put it in my locker, I quickly rushed to first period, health.

I walked into my health class and the tardy bell rang. Relieved that I made it on time, I sat down at my desk and pulled out the according text book and my binder. My head was out of it today, with all that was going one with Seven and Simon that is. I planned on calling Simon after school, he had given me a special number to call just before he left. Simon said that if he wanted to stay on the down low he was going to use a cheap prepaid phone, like in the movies. Lost in thought, Mr. Dennis, or as I called him, Charlie which was his first name, walked in the classroom in a rushing manner. Charlie set a thick stack of papers onto his desk and reached for his glasses hanging from is shirt's collar. He lifted a leathered book and unfolded a flap that was holding the pages place. "'Are we not natural born killers who have adapted to control our urges? What floods this type of instinct back into our system after the evolution from cavemen to the civilians that we are today?' We don't know" Charlie read aloud, answering his own question. Charlie was a very serious teacher when it came to psychology. Even if this was only standard 11th grade health class, Charlie still managed to sneak his own interests of science into the teachings. "We may have theories of the matters of the human brain, but theories only. What drives one to kill another?" Charlie asked, receiving a single hand full of answers. A girl a row besides me rose her hand almost immediately catching Charlie by surprise. "Yes, Chassidy?" Charlie called on the eager student. "I believe like what you read, deep inside we still have that natural instinct of killing but for some people their brains are hardwired differently". Chassidy had a higher pitched voice that didn't match with her face and caught me by surprise each time she spoke. I rose my hand in annoyed manner. This questioned angered me, such a question doesn't have a specific answer, so what was the point of answering. Charlie snapped his fingers in my direction, "Quinn"
"This isn't exactly a great question to ask. There are unlimited answers that have been the case before, why answer something when at this point it's just become our opinions that are the answers". Charlie nodded his head approvingly.
"So what's one reason you think people can just take another persons life?"
"Anger issues, psychotic break down, self defense-"
"One would have sufficed-"
"Revenge" I said in a lower voice and pointed my finger at the teacher. Charlie chuckled softly at me and set the book down. "I'm glad you take such an interest in this subject, may I continue with the lesson?" he asked, a smile crept onto my face as I nodded.

The first class of the day now coming to an end, with five minutes left of first period, I, along with the rest of the class began packing up our belongings. "Alright guys, read and finish the rest of chapter 6 in your text books. Your essay is due tomorrow and we have a test Wednesday, don't forget" Charlie announced loudly to his stirring classroom. I grabbed my backpack and headed for the door as the last few seconds ticked away. Just before the bell rang I heard my name called, Charlie motioned me to cone to him. "Listen Charlie, you're gonna make me late again, you know I have to wa-"
"Walk all the way to Ms. Peters, yes I'm aware" Charlie lifted his two fingers with a yellow slip in between them. Excused note. I snatch the paper from him and stuff into my pocket. "I can tell you like this subject a lot more than the last"
"Who likes to learn about how the knee works, I'd rather kill myself then listen to another lesson on the human bones".
"I see"
"No offense, of course" I lightly tease the spirited man.
"I expect to see a whole lot more participation the next few week from you, alright?" Charlie said as I hummed with acknowledgment.
"I'm Sherlock Holmes, psychology is my second language" I laugh at my own sentance, Charlie looked at me matter of factly. "Can I skidaddle now" I teased again causing him to laugh and nod his head. "See yah Quinn" Charlie called from behind as I pushed through the door and rushed to my next class on the other side of the building.

((This chapter is long and didn't go anywhere wait till next chapter))❤