Pineapple on Canvas: The Odd Adventures of a Toy in the City

The one where we find out What Went On

Maher could tell that Ella felt an immense sense of guilt over leaving Papple by himself. This had been amplified when, for the past couple of days, Papple stopped answering Maher's landline.

"Ella, he probably forgot to recharge the portable phone and so none of the calls are going through anymore."

"But, Maher, he isn't self-sufficient and he must be so confused! He isn't like the others. What if he gets plushnapped or something?"

"What do you mean he isn't like the others?"
"Oh," stammered Ella. "Nothing. I just meant that he's so clumsy and innocent and I just don't know if he can survive on his own."

"Oh Ella, he survived in the apartment on his own for two years."

"But in a bag!" wailed Ella.

Because he could not bear to see Ella so distressed, Maher went out of his way to find an earlier flight to check in on Papple. So off he went, on the red-eye flight to go home to check in on a pineapple stuffed toy.

As ridiculous as the whole situation was, Maher couldn't help but grin. He couldn't imagine doing this for any one other than Ella. The first time he met her, he was struck speechless by how beautiful he thought she was. Her thick, wavy, long black hair, her delicate button nose, and her large almond shaped eyes. There was something different about her. Her intelligence and kindness seemed to make her radiate--she was different from the often vapid models and aspiring actresses that used to rotate in and out of his life. For the first time in his life, he was in a relationship that made him think of a future.

The minute he got home, he searched for the bright yellow object, and noted that something wasn't right. That said, Maher quickly texted Ella to let her know that her precious Papple was safe, but he didn't add that the toy may not be quite sound.

After a brief investigation, which led to a visit to Marlon's place and the administration of a quarter of a crushed Advil pill, Maher finally had the guts to give Ella a call.

"So first things first," he said. "Don't freak out."

"I don't like it when you start a conversation that way, Maher! I am freaked out. How is my pineapple?"

"He's all in one piece, but let's just say that he is having some major regrets."

"What do you mean?"

"You'll never guess what Papple did."

"What did he do?" she asked anxiously.

"He made a friend."

"Oh, did you leave out a yellow sponge or something?"

During the first week of Papple's escape from Bad Bag, when things were still new and unfamiliar to him, he had the habit of thinking that any squishy yellow object, including the kitchen sponge, could be a friend.

"No," replied Maher, "he found a real live friend! So he somehow found his way out of the house . . ."

"Oh my god," Ella interrupted. "I thought you said he was okay, Maher! Did he get lost?"

"No, no, he's fine. He's right here beside me on the bed. But anyway, he went to my neighbor's place. You remember Marlon?"

"The body builder slash JP Morgan executive?"

"Yeah, him."

"Oh my God. Is Papple ok?" she asked, and then, almost as an afterthought, "Actually, is Marlon?"

"They're kind of best buddies now."

"What? How?!"

"Just promise me you won't be mad."

"Oh no, is this going to be really bad?"

"Ok, well, Marlon had a party."

"Isn't he also a bit of a modelizer? Didn't he have those wild kids at his party last time and the police had to come?" replied Ella, slightly hysterical. "Were there bad kids? There were bad kids! My innocent little fruit!"

"Well, no. I mean, yes, apparently things got out of hand at his last party but it wasn't Marlon's idea. One of his NBA buddies got a little crazy so it really wasn't his fault."

Ella interrupted, "But that doesn't answer my question!"

"No, no. It was just Marlon's friends from the gym. No undesirables . . . but there was wine."

"Okay, so what? We drink wine. This doesn't seem horrible."

"So . . . Papple somehow got his hands on a glass . . .."

"What? My little baby! Why wasn't Marlon more vigilant? It's not like Papple is fast or anything. His feet are round are he has no knees! He falls on his face trying to get around half the time!"

"That's only when he gets too excited. He's surprisingly agile otherwise, you know? They really make those robots strong for their size."

"Why didn't Marlon watch him?"

"Well, in all fairness, Marlon took the glass away from him the second he saw it happen. He said Papple couldn't have had more than half a glass, but I guess the fermented fruit-on-fruit combo was too much for little guy."

"Is he drunk?"

"He's well past that. He's in the hangover stage. I gave him an Advil and he's passed out now."

"You drugged our baby?" Ella screeched, not knowing whether she should laugh or be mad.

"I did," Maher said with a chuckle. "Okay, well I know you may a bit mad, but I have to send you this video Marlon sent me. After the wine hit him, Papple took two olives and stuck them on toothpicks and used them like maracas."

"Like, shaking them and everything?"

"Exactly! And he does this dance which he apparently calls the Pineapple Shake, which is hilarious!"

"What's the Pineapple Shake?"

"It's basically him shaking the maracas around and gyrating his little round butt and yelling Let's do the PINEAPPLE SHAKE!"

"Okay, I admit, I do kind of want to see that!"

"Here, I'll send it through to you . . . hold on babe, I think I hear something."

"Is it Papple?"

"Yeah, it looks like he just threw up on your pillow. I put him there because he kept on asking for his Ella."

"Oh no, baby," Ella said, "should I speak to him?"

"Nah, dialogue won't be too good for him right now," Maher replied. "He's just going to have to suck it up."

Before Ella could reply, she heard Maher laugh out loud.

"Babe, you'll never believe this! His puke is basically like applesauce. I mean, I guess like pineapple sauce or something," he said. "Anyhow, I better go take care of him."

"Tell him that I love him, okay?"

"Of course," replied Maher. "I love you . . . I mean, he loves you too. I mean he's lucky to have you."

"I'm ... I'm the lucky one," stammered Ella.

The line was silent for a moment before they both hung up. Maher was shocked. The words had just rushed out of his mouth and he believed he meant every single on of them.