Pineapple on Canvas: The Odd Adventures of a Toy in the City

The one where Papple breaks the Rules and Plots a Lesson for a Bully.

"We do something," Papple said, as he patted Kitty on the shoulders. He could tell she was still upset about the whole incident that had happened to Ella. In fact, it had been eating the toys alive for the entire past month. Even though Ella had taken Maple's advice and spoken with Linda, the young female partner, Kitty was still extraordinarily upset that Dick wouldn't be facing any consequences.

"What can we do?" lamented Kitty.

"E hele apo i nā mea apauthe," Papple replied.

"What?"

Papple furrowed his brows, deep in concentration trying to catch that idea that was swirling around in his software brain. "Diarrhea!" he suddenly exclaimed.

"What?" Kitty asked again, uncertain if she'd heard correctly.

"Well," Papple said, speaking right up against Kitty's face. In his moment of excitement, he had completely forgotten about all the personal space lessons that Maher had taught him. "This new word that Papple learn on learning app. Means bad poop poop time. Papple have special formula to make bad people need to go potty very much. Explosive diarrhea! POOP FOR A POOP POOP HEAD!"

"Oh," said Kitty, for once not bothered by the personal space violation. "That is pure genius!"

By this time, a couple of the other kids, namely S.K. And Sir'Duke had joined in the conversation.

"Well, that would be great in theory," said S.K., but we need to actually get him to ingest the formula to have the explosive diarrhea. How would we do that?"

"Yeah," lamented Sir'Duke, "it's not as if we can lure evil Dick here to give him the potion."

"Papple go to him," Papple volunteered.

"But, you can't!" said Kitty. "None of us toys, not even Maple, has ever been outside the apartment by ourselves! We just aren't made for it--you need to be accompanied by Ella or Maher. It's too dangerous out there!"

Looking bravely at Kitty, and puffing out his chest, Papple made up his mind on the spot. "Papple can do it." Whether or not he really thought that he was brave enough to make it on his own in the Outside Maher Place was a response that even Papple himself didn't know. What he did know was that the look of little-sister-admiration he was getting from Kitty was enough to make him try his very hardest, even if he failed.

After a few hushed discussions amongst themselves, it was decided that the mission could potentially be feasible. That said, this didn't stop Zoe from fretting that Papple would get lost and never return.

Papple refused to hear any of their pleas not to go forward with the mission. He would do it with or without their help. So, not being given much of a choice, all the toys put their resources together to make it happen.

S.K., the tech guru, would work on setting up communication channels so that the toys could have contact with Papple throughout his journey. This involved using a special mobile phone system S.K. had created based on existing apps that could stream live video. The unit was small enough that it could attach to Papple's wrist like a watch and wouldn't get in his way. The only time that Papple would "go dark" would be in the subway system.

Sir'Duke and Sweet Lou would take care of the logistics of getting to Ella's work, figuring out exactly where Ella worked and the correct transit to take. Print outs of maps and schedules lined the little toy hammock for many weeks after the initial plan was hatched.

Lots of discussions circled around money, which they didn't have, and in the end it was decided that since Papple was so small, it wouldn't be necessary to purchase a MTA ticket and that he could just sneak in. What would the police do anyway—arrest him?

Kitty's job was to figure out where evil Dick's office was located within the law firm building and work with S.K. on how to get through security. She also needed to figure out what sort of beverage Dick drank most, and to work with Papple to make sure the poop formula smelled similar to Dick's favored drink so Papple could add it in without raising any attention.

Zoe would prepare all the supplies Papple would need for his mission, including snacks, water, maps, and other such requirements that he could pack together into a small knapsack. She was also responsible for coming up with a disguise to make Papple blend in a bit better with his surroundings and be less noticeable.

Maple would quarterback the process and keep track of where the entire operation stood. He created a day-by-day timetable, which included daily exercise routines for Papple to follow to build up his strength and endurance.

Last but not least, Papple set about brewing his laxative potion, which was actually a rather complex procedure and could take up to two whole weeks to prepare. Fortunately Marlon was able to help him procure some of the rarer herbs that really gave the formula its "gas" (pun intended).

And with that, the kids set to work putting their plan into motion to teach a bully a lesson.