Pineapple on Canvas: The Odd Adventures of a Toy in the City

The one where we learn about the Other Kids and Ella's job

Papple was seated contentedly on Ella's lap, passed out from the various activities of the day. Ella and Maher had built a little slide out of pillows and Papple had spent the majority of the afternoon tumbling down it and running back up to do it all over again.

Between his little snores and deep breathing, Maher asked, mouth agape, "So, how many toys do you have?"

"About, uh, ten . . .," Ella mumbled.

"Ten!? Is that even possible? Aren't they a lot of work?"

"Actually they really aren't." replied Ella. "Do you remember those two Hello Kitty stuffed toys you got for me, the ones I named Kitty and Stanford Kitty? Kitty has the cute little British flag skirt and S.K. has the nerdy glasses and a replica Stanford shirt?"

"Of course, Kitty was the first gift I ever got for you. S.K. came the year after or something."

"Well, they're both Machine Learning toys!"

"They are? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know," said Ella, playing with her long, black hair. "I guess I was afraid you might find it a bit childish. After all, you can have full on conversations with these toys . . . and you know, some people like to and all . . .."

"It does take some getting used to," acknowledged Maher. "Wait, oh no, are the two Hello Kitty dolls, you know?"

"What, Maher?" asked Ella, looking at him quizzically. "Oh! I know what you mean. They're fine. In fact they're so wonderful and you would just love them. They actually have very different but adorable personalities!"

"I'm sure they're wonderful," said Maher, "but just to clarify--are they, you know, kind of slow?" As he said this, he nodded his head toward the snoring ball of yellow on Ella's lap.

"No, not at all," said Ella, and then added defensively, "and he isn't slow, he's just perfect! Things are just new for him. But if you really must know, Stanford Kitty is a little genius computer whiz and Kitty is all brains too, but in a mini-mogul kind of a way. They learn incredibly quickly and in fact they take care of me instead of the other way around!"

"Oh, okay. Maybe Papple is the way he is because of some faulty programming or something?"

"Well . . . uh, nothing," said Ella. Then, trying to change the subject she continued, "Did you know Kitty has the most obnoxious English accent? She bosses S.K. around all the time and just lords over the fact that she is older one. Oh, and you should have seen just how upset she was when I first brought S.K. home. Tears and temper tantrums like you wouldn't believe!"

"Wait, hold on. What were you going to say about Papple's development?"

"Uh, well, I don't want you to feel guilty or anything . . .."

"Just tell me!"

"Okay, okay. I did some research and I think that Papple must have been activated when was in Bad Bag, you know that bag he came in," said Ella. "So since all his formative years were spent in Bad Bag, that means he could have had three whole years without enrichment!"

"It was less than two!" retorted Maher, rather loudly, almost startling the plush toy awake.

"He says three, baby. But regardless, any amount of time would be enough to make anyone a little bit of a fruit show, you know? Besides, what does that matter? He's just the sweetest thing."

Since Ella didn't want to make Maher feel anymore guilty than he already did, she didn't elaborate that prior to activation, machine learning toys were purposefully only given a rudimentary set of basic language skills. This was done so that the toy could machine learn the new language of the girl or boy that "adopted" them. So during the time that Papple was supposed to be developing his English language skills, he hadn't had anyone other than the walls of Bad Bag to talk with.

"It's not as if he needs to get a job or anything, so as long as he's happy, what more could we want?" stated Maher rather defensively.

"Of course, baby," she replied, reaching over to squeeze his hand. "He is absolutely perfect just as he is."

Before they could continue their discussion, Ella's work phone rang. She turned a slight color of green, quickly handed off the sleeping toy to Maher, and bolted off to Other Room to pick it up.

In her haste, Ella forgot to close the door to Other Room, which would have bothered Papple very much had he been awake, and sat down on the duvet cover of the guest bed nervously awaiting to hear her marching orders. She looked at the clock and saw that it was close to ten thirty p.m. The voice on the other side squawked and she nodded her head meekly, barely able to muster the strength to respond "yes" to the barrage of requests that were being asked of her.

Ella waited an extra two minutes after she hung up to compose herself before putting on a cheerful smile and walking out to Couch Room to let Maher know that she would need to head back to the office.

"Well, looks like they need another desk monkey tonight," she said bravely, trying hard to hold back her tears. She couldn't remember the last time she had had a weekend to herself. This weekend had been particularly bad since she had been promised a free Saturday night, only to have it cruelly ripped away from her with no real explanation.

While stories like this were rampant in her field, especially for junior associates, it made the pill no easier to swallow. Junior associates were expected to always be reachable. She had heard numerous stories of women working while in labor and coming back to work the day after giving birth.

"But its Saturday night!" exclaimed Maher.

"I know. But, it is what it is and that's all that it'll ever be," said Ella, repeating the battle cry of many of her fellow first year associate colleagues.

"Ridiculous!" said Maher. "Can't you at least work from home?"

"No, we had a bunch of physical documents couriered to us."

"Will you be alone?"

"No, luckily there are a bunch of us on this file, and I really like all the associates on the team," she said, hating herself for lying to Maher. While there technically were other associates on the deal, three others to be exact, she neglected to mention that the absolute he-devil partner she worked for seemed to have a particular penchant for singling out female associates to do all the grunt work.

In truth, Ella would be the only one at the office tonight, and unsurprisingly, her three other colleagues on the deal were all men, and seemed to always get the cushiest assignments.

"I better go now," said Ella.

"Should I wait up for you?" asked Maher tenderly. "Is there anything I can do?"

"I think it'll be an all nighter, so I'll go home afterwards," she replied, forcing a smile. The last thing she wanted to do was bother Maher with her insignificant troubles when she knew he had more than a few things on his mind. After all, this was part and parcel of her job. The other stuff, well, she couldn't help the way that other people treated her, but she certainly wasn't going to let them deter her from succeeding at her job.

"Okay," Maher said, not wanting to make the situation any more difficult for Ella. "Let me pack you some snacks before you go, though."

The sweet gesture put a smile on Ella's face. "I'd like that very much, Maher. Thank you."

As Maher went off to pack a lunch bag filled with Babybel cheeses, fresh fruits, nuts and a green kale smoothie, Ella walked back to the couch and leaned down to give a kiss to the pineapple before she left.

And then, off it was for another long night, which was thankfully made much shorter when she received a text from Papple, still groggy from sleep, asking, "You in Other Room?"