Pineapple on Canvas: The Odd Adventures of a Toy in the City

The one where Papple teaches Maher a Thing or Two past "Moo"

The bonding between Maher and the pineapple had really started to get into full gear when Maher had taken it upon himself to begin teaching Papple proper grammar. If one were to be generous, it could be said that the toy's English skills were, at best, quite rudimentary.

"Papple," said Maher, "its time for us to start doing some learning together, you in for it?"

"Yes! Papple want do this."

"Okay, well I bought you some books from the bookstore that we can read together, and when I'm not around, you can read them on your own, okay?"

It soon became obvious that when Maher wasn't there explaining things to him, Papple really wasn't learning much.

In fact, the whole last week, Papple had been at home pushing buttons that only let him learn one or two useless words a day. Maher remembered the dreaded "Barn Sounds" book with particular dislike.

"Boy, this book no good," Papple lamented, plopping down the "Barn Sounds" book.

"Why not?" Maher asked.

"Papple no learn nothing," the little pineapple said with a sigh, as he flipped the book open to a random page.

A picture of a large cow appeared and Papple pushed the button on the cow's stomach. "Moo moo, says the cow" the recording exclaimed.

"Why Papple need to learn to say "moo moo"?" the little toy asked. "This stupid. Me no learn nothing."

"Okay, little guy," Maher said. "I see your point. But maybe I can get you another book? You liked it when we did the science experiments and the math problems together, right?"

"Yes," said Papple, and then looking to the ground he continued in a slightly exasperated tone, "but this no is the same when you not here. Papple no can ask questions and so much words is confusing. This no fun."

"Hmmm," said Maher, contemplating the situation. "Let me think about this. Maybe we can get you some sort of teacher."

The leafy spikes on the little toy's head perked up. "Me like that!" Papple exclaimed, and then added hopefully, "maybe can be Marlon?'

"Probably not Marlon little guy, he has a full time job. Why don't you get the math book out now?"

"This good," Papple said happily. Then, purposefully giving the Barn Sounds book one last look of disdain, Papple pulled out Maher's old Finance 101 textbook for the two of them to look over.

Papple had at first thought that Maher was a "Fun Manager" and had wanted very much to learn what that comprised of and the conversation had gone as follows:

"Maher, me want to do what you do. It sound like a good grown up job. Ella job, looking at words all day, seem not as good."

"Well," said Maher, "I'd be happy to do that! William thought my job was boring, so it's nice to hear that someone actually thinks it's cool."

"How can being a Fun Manager be boring?" William silly."

"Okay, well here is my Valuation 101 book, let's take a look at this together."

Papple had eagerly jumped onto Maher's lap, but after twenty minutes, he shyly turned to Maher and asked, "Dis interesting, but when we learn to manage fun?"

"Well, you need to learn how to value companies first before you can put it into the fund," Maher started, before he stopped himself and asked, "Wait, did you say "fun" or did you say "fund"?"

"Fun."

"Like "ha ha happy" or like a portfolio of investments . . . oh never mind, I don't know why I just asked you that. You think I'm a Fun Manager?"

"Yes?"

"I'm actually a fund, with a "D", manager, Papple. It is actually quite fun, but we don't manage fun."

"Oh, me see. Dis okay, I like this book anyhow, it interesting."

"You're not saying this just to please me?"

"No, Papple really like. You remember when you try to teach history and Papple no can stay awake?"

"True! Okay, little guy. Let's continue on then!"

"But really, they should make job for a fun manager. Papple be very good at this."

"I can't say I disagree!"

The next day, Maher researched classes in Manhattan that he could send Papple to, but he soon realized the logistics would be impossible. After all, he couldn't enroll the young pineapple in any of those courses since they all required in person attendance. That's when it hit him--there had to be some sort of app that he could get.

Maher searched and downloaded a few highly rated apps onto his iPad and showed Papple how to use each one. The pineapple's learning took off exponentially and both he and Maher were content with the new development that was soon to become a very important part of both of their lives.