The Boy That Lives Upstairs (CaptainSparklez FanFic)

Boy Issues

Jordans POV

I was running, running towards something. It looked like light. Voices around me cheered me on. I ran faster, matching my feet with every breath. As I neared the light, I realized I was running towards a figure. I slowed, but then the voices cheered me on again. As I got closer, I saw it was a girl's figure. And not just any girl, Vic. She was looking at me, looking like how she looked when I hurt her. Scared, worried, shocked. But she didn't run as I approached. I reached her, and hugged her as tightly as I could manage. Then she was gone, and there was something in my hand. I looked around for her, and tried to call out, and found that I was unable to speak. I looked down at my clenched fist, and felt the cylinder in my hand. I slowly opened my palm, and inside I found a bottle of pills, the kind I had to take when it got bad. Suddenly, the darkness around me started to shatter. Pieces cut my arms and legs, and I started to yell and scream.

"Aahh!" I yelled as I sat straight up in bed. "Oh," I panted as I looked around. "It was only a dream.." I was absolutely drenched in sweat, and I was shaking. The first thing I noticed was that Vic wasn't awake and comforting me. The second thing I noticed was Vic wasn't.. Vic wasn't here. I pulled my legs to my chest and hugged myself, feeling Vic's arms where mine were. I bit my trembling lip, and my breathing picked up. I allowed myself to fall back into bed, to fall where my wonderful Vic would normally sleep. I breathed in her lingering scent, I breathed her in. I hugged her pillow like it was her, like I would never let her go again.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, choking on sobs. "I am so, so sorry." I clenched my fists into the pillow, repeating "I'm sorry, I'm sorry" over and over again. My tears marked the pillow as I held it close to me. I lay like this for a long time, until I stopped choking on my breathing. I sat up slowly, still hugging her pillow. I breathed her in once again, and then discarded the pillow on the bed. I slowly got up, and staggered over towards the dresser. I pulled open the top drawer with shaking hands, and searched around, moving away boxers and briefs. My fingers found what I was looking for, and closed my hand around the bottle. I stared at the label: Prescribed to: Jordan Maron. Doctor/Psychologist: Gordan Tier. Date: 08/12/13. Instructions: Take 2 every morning, and 1 every night. Medication For: Anger Issues. Additional Notes: If conditions become hazardous to your health and others, take a double dosage.

I sighed as I screwed off the cap. I peered inside, and saw an almost full bottle. I hadn't been taking these recently because being around Vic had made me seem ok. It had made people believe I was ok. It made me believe I was ok. She just had that effect on me. But now.. I shook out 4 pills, and swallowed them in one foul swoop. Yep, still as gross as I remember. I left my room, still in the boxers I had slept in. I sat on one of the stools at the kitchen counter, and rested my head on my arms. I sighed loudly, then started checking my phone. On my outgoing calls, there was about 15 voice mails left to Vic <333. And about 20 texts. I decided to text her again. Probably not the smartest thing, but hey, right now, I was the king of stupid.

Jordan:

Vic... please call or text me.. I'm so sorry (i'm sure you already know that) and i dont expect you to forgive me in anyway.. just please.. let me explain myself.
just, please

I sighed as I pushed send, and tried to rub the sleep from my eyes. It was to no avail though, I had slept like trash last night. It was weird not sleeping next to someone, not to feel their heat and not to smell their scent. Most of all though, I couldn't sleep because I was too busy hating myself for everything I had done to Vic.

I decided to make myself cereal, but ended up staring blankly at it until the milk spoiled and the cereal got soggy. I wasn't really hungry anyway, and my mind was definitely somewhere else.