Lost And Afraid

I don't know what to feel anymore *1*

"The LOVE of a family is Life's greatest blessing.."

-May contain sexual content-

(IN MOST OF THE STORY IT WILL SWITCH POV'S)

Rap Monsters P.O.V

It was our first time travelling to France together with the 7 of us and our plus ones. My plus one was Beth, I've been with her for a couple of years. I'm madly in love with her. It wasn't the fact that she was beautiful(that didn't help my temptations)but her personality made me weak in the heart.Really all of us found our special ones, well except Jungkook and J-Hope. Jungkook said he was waiting for the one, but I don't think anyone believes that. He probably hides her under the covers every time we come into his bedroom.Not the point this trip was a special time for me and Beth it was bonding time, Before dance camp, we confessed our love for each other. But because of dance and our live shows we could not undergo our relationship. Being separated for a long period of time is difficult especially when you know you've broken a girls heart. Seeing her face light up when we walked through the airports' doors made me shed a couple of tears. The time spent on the plane was pretty fun we just sang songs to each other and ate chocolate. I'm kinda glad she's my plus one I couldn't ask for a better one.

Beth's P.O.V

France here we come! Rapmonster grabbed my hand and we walked through the terminal. He smiled at me with his cute dimples showing. I'm smiled back and hugged his arm. As we're walking through the tunnel I began to drop back. I was carrying 2 suitcases full of BTS merch and my clothes. The suitcases rolled across the ground as I gasped for air."Rapmon!" I yelled at him to help me. In my urgency, he turned around and grabbed the suitcases off me. We got onto the plane and sat down. It was Me, RapMon and Jhope. All through the trip, i sang songs to RM while he munched away on a chocolate bar. Jhope seemed isolated he sat on the chair and listened to music. Not a single word came out of his mouth, he was silent which he's really not like. Right before we go on the plane he said "I want to go back somethings off about this place" Everybody just shook it off but he might be right.

Jhope's P.O.V

Car journeys are the worst, Especially this one. The whole journey to the airport felt off and I felt uneasy. As we arrived I felt shivers down my spine, The coach stopped and everyone went silent. "Guys, we shouldn't have come here.." Everyone looked at me with a baffled expression until Suga spoke up. "What are you on about Jhope, we are still in Korea"I turned my head and faced the floor, They could try to convince me but I still knew there was something up. Everybody in their couples got off the coach and held hands, Of course, they did I was the only person without a plus one. We all had ships in our group

Beth & Namjoon>BethJoon

Tessa & Jimin>TessMin

London & Taehyung>Taedon

Eve & Jin> Jeve

Karen & Suga> Kaga

My favourite ship had got to be BethJoon then in 2nd would be Tessmin. They're both so cute.

(Back to the story)

As we walked through the tunnel I felt a sensation of butterflies in my stomach. I began to feel faint i lost all feeling in my arm. I knew what this was about because it hurt in specific areas.

A couple of months back i went to the hospital because i knew i had some sort anxiety. Everybody says in the sunshine of the group, but really im just here to make everyone happy. I am worthless, im just here for show. When God created me he threw a special potion in the brewing pot and that was irrelevant. I was clearly not wanted by my family, pretending to play hide and seek and leaving me mum is a low blow. BigHit signed me up just because they needed a new person on the rap line, they also needed me to show ARMY that Im really happy while inside im slowly rotting away. I stay here because i know they love me and that our band will crumble to pieces if i die.