Always Been You

Chapter Eight

|Finn|

Quinn played with her food, her fork scraped the plate. Her wine was left in her glass, untouched. Her eyes wondered around the room, and at the end landed on me.

"So what do you think?," I asked as I looked down at my food. I was nervous, that's for sure. I always thought that this thing with Quinn was a sure thing, we always found a way back to each other. At least that's what I liked to think.

"I loved it all," she replied with a smile. "What you did was really nice, it was. . . refreshing." She smiled at me and shyly looked down at her plate. Refreshing? How?

"What?" I asked confused. "What do you mean?"

"You did something romantic," she said. "I was a little worried that just because we are engaged the romance would stop after we were married... And the thing with her, I didn't know what was going to happen to us." The romantic thing that she was referring to was basically me cooking us a dinner, and giving her a full and kind of long speech of my love to her. I had told her how much I cared about her, how I didn't like it when we fought, and how I liked being with her.

I slowly nodded and my appetite was lost again. Just the small mention of her, sent unwanted thoughts and feelings to my mind. I didn't want to think of her, of what could've been. Because maybe if we really were meant to be, then we'd somehow be together right now. Maybe in a different world I would be with her, holding her hand and telling her all kinds of things. Maybe we'd be preparing for a wedding, or the first day of school for one of our kids- there I go again.

"Can you promise me something though?," she asked out of the blue. Her eyes scanned my face, I nodded for her to continue and she locked her gaze on me. "You don't feel anything, not even the slightest thing for Rachel? You don't feel the need to keep yourself from doing anything for her?"

I can't promise you that, I'm sorry. That's what I wanted to say, that's what I needed to say. But I knew that no matter which way I cut, we're going to end up hurt. I couldn't spare her anything, no matter how hard I tried. Honesty is the best policy, isn't it? They never said that it would be easy.

"Why do we keep talking about this?" I asked out loud. "Don't you think it might be getting kind of repetitive-"

"I wouldn't necessarily call it that," Quinn interrupted with a slight frown. "I think that it's unfair what you're doing. I just need a clear and simple promise that you don't feel anything. I know I shouldn't dwell on this too much, but I can't help it." She sighed and looked away for a second before looking back at me. "If there's even the remote chance of you going back to her, or even feeling anything that you might not even feel for me, I need to know. Because I don't think I'd be able to stand the fact that you and I will be married, but you'll have your eyes set on someone else." I could see tears forming in her eyes. She looked up to stop the tears from coming out, and looked away.

"I'm sorry," I whispered and looked down at my plate. "I'm sorry for not knowing how you felt. But you don't have to worry about her, she's off somewhere with someone else. And besides everything is in the past." At least that's what I tried to tell myself.

Quinn looked at me once again, and rolled her eyes. She got a napkin and started patting around her eyes. "But yet, you still don't get it." She sighed and got up, she got her glass and drank the wine in one gulp. "You don't see it, do you? You just told me all that but held a tone to it, a melancholic one. You don't even believe yourself, do you? Because I certainly don't."

"Quinn, stop," I said. "I'm sorry it came out like that okay? But stop making me repeat all of this, you know that I love you. You know that I wouldn't cheat on you, I wouldn't intentionally hurt you. And you have nothing to worry about, I wouldn't go to Rachel. Why would I? Didn't I also break up with her to be with you?"

"You could do the same thing to me for her," she sniffed and grabbed the wine and served herself some more. "I just need the night to myself." And with that she went upstairs for the rest of the night. Way to go Finn, way to go.

I sighed for the millionth time tonight and slumped down on the living room sofa. My phone went off, and I looked down to see the text message. Kurt.

You're still welcome to come for dinner if you and Quinn want, sorry for arguing with you.

I read over the text twice, and looked over at the wooden stairs. Should I ask her if she wants to come to dinner with me? Of course not. She'd reject it right on the spot. Why would she want to go anywhere with the man who hurts her? I type my reply and send the message, and I walk upstairs and stop in front of our bedroom door. I hear some silent cries inside, and with a quiet sigh I softly knock on the white coated door. The cries stop, and a weak voice calls out. "What?"

"I'm going over to my mom's, you want to come?," I asked. "If not, it's okay I understand."

"I'll stay here for the night," I heard her say. "I need you to tell her that I say in I'm sorry for not coming, and tell her that I'm sick. I don't want her to know of... this."

"Okay," I said with an exhale of air. "Alright well I'm gonna get going. I love you, goodnight."  I didn't hear a reply, and went on my way to my mom's house.