Always Been You

Chapter Ten

|Rachel|

I groaned as I sat on the high chair. My hands slammed down on the countertop in frustration as Kurt sat next to me with a wicked grin on his face.

"I watched it all go down," he said as he tapped his fingers on the marble. "I didn't hear what was going on, but I don't think I've seen Finn so engaged in a conversation like that since he got engaged to Quinn. You certainly changed him even for a couple minutes—"

"Stop," I snapped as I turned to him. "He's engaged, Kurt. You can't just make me want to be with him in order to break up his engagement. Things don't work that way, I wouldn't do that to another person. . ." I trailed off as I saw Kurt's smiling face. "What?"

"Oh nothing, just the fact that you've accepted that you want to be with Finn—"

"No!," I interrupted. "I said that as an example, Okay? We just had a conversation, that's it. I'm with Jessie, we're—", I couldn't even finish my sentence when my phone rang. I looked at the caller ID and groaned even louder, it was Amy. I excused myself from Kurt's presence and walked into my bedroom.

"What?" I snapped as I answered the call. I didn't feel like dealing with anyone or anything.

"Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed," she teased. "Anyway, I was calling because I have terrible news." My head started throbbing at the thought of the million of possibilities these news were related to.

"And what's that?" I sighed and sat down on my bed.

"I'm afraid I won't be able to keep the press off your back. You need to come back ASAP, and I know how much you don't want to do that but you have to," She stressed. Great, just when I thought I could get this over with. With a sigh I told her to book my flight and I could go back to New York. Back to my life, my very depressing one at that. I hung up and went to the suitcase at the very back of my walk in closet. I took it out and set it on my bed, and I start to pack all my clothes inside. Kurt left about ten minutes later saying that he had to talk to Blaine about something.

How would I tell Kurt that I was leaving again? How would he react? Would he be angry? Of course he would, I lied. In his eyes, his view, I lied. I said I would stay for a while, but two weeks in and I'm already out the door.

And Finn. . . What would he think? Would he be upset, or happy? Most likely happy, I would be out of his life even if I was in it for a mere hour or two. Why would he want anything to do with me? I was a joke to him back then, why would that change? He never wanted me, he never will. He's happy with Quinn, at least that's what I've heard. But his face, his attitude changed when Quinn was mentioned. He seemed more. . . Miserable, maybe? More like monotone, or neutral. It didn't fit his playful mood that he seemed to always have back then.

I'll always cheer you on. Always.

Did he mean it? It doesn't matter anyway, it's not like he'd be a part of my life forever. Of course, I'll always have him with me through memories but other than that we wouldn't be in each other's lives. We had very different lives, he was more secluded when I was more open. I lived the glamour life, I had my fame, and many people knew about my life even if I didn't want them to. But Finn, from what I've seen anyway, is that he lets people in as less as possible. He keeps everything to himself, and doesn't talk much about anything that concerns him. We were opposites, and maybe that's why I got attracted to him when we were younger. Because he was so different from me, he saw things in a different light, a different perspective. And maybe I needed that, not someone who thought exactly like me. . . Someone like Jessie.

I wasn't sure now if I wanted to be with him anymore, he's a good guy, don't get me wrong. But it's not like we sync up, we don't want the same things when it comes to a future. The only thing we have in common is our type of lives, but other than that there's nothing. Maybe I had to end things with him, and then decide what I really wanted.